I remember a time when I would wake up in the mornings only looking forward to going to bed. Living day-to-day not knowing that I was wanted, loved, or cared for. I was physically and mentally exhausted all the time. I was feeding my soul all the wrong things thinking that it wouldn’t matter in the long run anyway.

I built a home in the hardship around me. I began to build walls up in my heart because I didn’t want people to see how broken I was. I wanted to be left alone. I pushed my friends out. I didn’t want to see that everything could and would get better if I opened my heart up to see what Jesus wanted to do for me. In order to find myself, I had to first lose myself.

It took me a long time to be able to see that I didn’t have to pretend that the hurt never happened. The bullying happened. The betrayal happened. The depression happened. The anxiety happened. The loss of friendships happened. The heartache happened. The hurt happened and it’s okay to say so. There’s no reason to hide behind it anymore.

I don’t know why I spent so much of my time hating who I was, or why I decided to let myself live in the darkness; but I do know that although I wouldn’t choose it, I wouldn’t change it. I finally opened my eyes and saw that by degrading myself, I was also degrading God. I decided to let God break down my walls, and transform me into a better person.

Why would you choose to be wounded when healing is in God’s hands? Let whatever has wounded you give you hope. Let it inspire you. God will take whatever the enemy tried to use to destroy you and turn it into a blessing. Sometimes you deal with burden not to harm you, but to give you a stronger faith. God never allows pain without a purpose.

Grace doesn’t always make sense, but it always makes peace. God is going to give you something even though you don’t think you deserve it. Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what could be. God will work it out. Sometimes you have to be broken in order to be built. Stay strong and stay focused. The good days are coming. He is going to place the right people in your path, the right circumstances, and the opportunities that you’ve been waiting for.