This weekend I decided to make it a "Revamping" weekend after dealing with things I shouldn't be stressing over. So that basically included all of my favorite things! A night out on the town, a chill day just relaxing and catching up on sleep, and of course, shopping!! Which was followed by an evening filled with pizza and chick flicks with my flatmates. This was one of the best weekends I have had since being in London. Why? Because it was filled with all of my favorite things, especially the pizza. But shopping on Saturday was different this time around.
Living in any country while studying abroad is a difficult task on it's own. But clothes shopping and being a plus size women can make the simplest tasks a bit more challenging in various ways. So I decided to head to TK Maxx (The UK's Version of TJ Maxx), thinking there would be a large selection of designers and they would even have a section for plus size clothing. Well after spending almost an hour and still not finding really any clothes, I started to become worrisome-- Worried at the fact I wouldn't find anything nice to wear like my flat mates wore, I kept searching.
I found a few clothing items, but I still did not find any dresses that were remotely close to my dress size. I proceeded to go try the clothes on (I've learned here to try any and everything on even if it looks like it will fit! One of the items I needed to add to my wardrobe was a black pair of skinny jeans ( I am a TV Production Major here, and being in the studio its just best to wear black). So I found these skinny jeans that I thought were not going to fit by any means but I still figured it was my best shot.
As I slipped them on I felt my hips sucking themselves inside like a vacuum trying to suck up all of the dirt it could. ( I have more of a pear shape body so it is normally difficult for me to find bottoms more than tops, but just in that moment I had a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pant's moment. They Fit! They weren't tight like oh they fit, but I can't move and look like a toy solider. But they fit, and in all the right places!!
I was absolutely shocked! And I NEEDED a pair of black jeans! After that and a couple of other items making the cut to come home with me, I decided to ask the fitting room assistant was there a section of dresses that may hold my size. She told me to head behind the jewelry counter, and take a look......
So I did just that, I saw some dresses in my size but nothing special or really what I was looking for, until I saw "The Dress."
This dress took my breath away. I'm not lying, I stood in awe for a good 10 minutes just basking in its glory! The situation was so bad I picked up the dress and carried it around like I was taking it out of the store. The dress happened to be in "my size" and was by designer Vince Camuto. I am sure it was a UK 18, but I just had to try it on anyways. So I awkwardly go back to the fitting room to greet the fitting room attendant yet once again.
As I go back in all of the stress I was thinking about and my problems all went away. Before I tried the dress on I told myself, I didn't even care if the dress fit. I was just happy it found me. It was so beautiful in my eyes! It changed how I looked at everything now. Life, living in London, men, everything! It made me appreciate the beauty in the simplest things again.
As I tried on the dress I looked at all of my curves tightly crammed in a dress that I couldn't even move in. I didn't look at myself in disgust, but yet beautiful. Even though that dress looked horrid on me and did not flatter an inch of my body I was happy. Completely happy because that dress alone just made me feel pretty. It didn't say anything, and definitely did me no justice to making me look "Hot." But that dress did something for me that I don't think anyone else could do at that time.
So I left TK Maxx with a few tops and jeans, but no dress. And that was okay! That dress brought me joy and most importantly brought me out of the funk I was in. I pray that dress gives some other young adult or women the same feeling it gave me hope, and hopefully it will be a little more faltering on her as well. But the next time I am having a rough day I know what I am doing! I am going dress "shopping." Even if I try on millions of dresses and walk out the store with nothing at least I can think back on that London morning and remember the joy I once felt for that dress.
Oh you want to see the dress?
Here is the dress that changed me and took my breath away:
