This past January, I lost my older brother. Even typing that sentence feels surreal. Regardless, he is gone. And I am still here. I feel immensely guilty for being able to breathe air, feel sunlight, and grow old. With only four years separating us, he was one of the closest bonds I've had in my relatively short life. And despite the fact that I do indeed plan on growing old, I will never have a connection like the one I had with him.
Despite every effort by my psyche, I cannot lay in bed anymore. I cannot let day after day pass without doing anything. He knew my aspirations. So, I cannot let him down. The pursuit of creative activity has been the overwhelmingly positive factor in my life over the last few months. Without it, I don't know where I'd be.
I really do believe that art saves lives. Whether you pursue art as a hobby, or dream of a career in the arts, there are tremendous benefits. There are so many forms of expression, so many outlets. The most prominent for me of late have been stand up comedy and photography.
Stand up comedy allows me to joke about things that are not necessarily funny out of context. My depression, my grief, my anxieties are all transformed into bits. And rather than audiences feeling sorry for you, I've found that more often than not there seems to be some sort of relation. We're connecting. Whether you've experienced something adjacent to my own life or not, we are connecting. Let's say that you're completely removed from it. You've led a relatively happy life, you've yet to experience the death of a loved one. Well, then you're understanding. At least, I hope.
Photography is a bit harder to put into context. I haven't reflected any of my sorrows in photos yet, but even the physical actions of going out and doing the photos with friends has benefited me. It gives me an out, a way to get outside of my house and outside of my head. My problems are still there, but it's OK to be distracted. I used to think that whenever you suffered, the only way to get past that suffering was to meditate on it all the time. But that hasn't worked for me. Distracting myself, occasionally, has.
Photography has allowed me to see the world outside of myself. I see the beauty in my friends and in the landscapes that we use. I see the artistic drive in them, and that connects us. Connecting to another human being, even if for a moment, is an amazing experience. It reminds you that life is worth living.
If you're someone that has suffered a loss, or suffers with themselves, I recommend some sort of creative pursuit. Comedy, writing, photography, film making, drawing, painting, anything. Anything that you can have fun with. Anything that reminds you that despite fear, sadness, and anger, there are other things in this world. Joyous, and more peaceful things.
