Lately, I’ve been seeing it in the news, social media, and everyday life- women are strong and independent, all cultures should be respected, and everyone should accept and embrace who they are. Positivity has been spreading rapidly, but in my personal experience, I’ve only heard it in the last couple of years, but not much before that.

I’ve always been a little shy and insecure but upon thinking about myself lately, I realized that I was never comfortable discussing my ethnicity and different traditions that took place in my household. Growing up with a Chinese mother who was born and lived in the Philippines most of her life and a father who was born and raised in France, how I learned and practiced traditions were slightly different than many of my classmates and friends around me.

I’ve constantly been asked about my ethnicity because people so desperately tried to pinpoint my background on my appearance.

I’ve heard the question time and time again, “What are you?”

First, of all, I’m human, not an alien or a different species. If they were trying to ask what my race is because of how I look, then they shouldn't just ask me “what I am”. Being asked this question made me feel strange, as if I was unusual or unordinary, especially being asked after a prolonged episode of staring. The demeaning and disrespectful question made it seem as if they were assuming that my race defines who I am as an individual, regardless of my accomplishments or ideas.

This would only be the beginning. After an awkward silence, I’d usually just politely tell them that I am French and Chinese, and the response I would get would come in two different ways. Often times, my curious audience of one or two would promptly respond, “That’s a strange mix!”.

Being told that you are a “strange mix” isn’t funny or normal, it’s just wrong. Is it strange because they think two people from different cultures shouldn’t interact with each other? Or is it just my “strange” appearance?

The second most common response I would receive would be stereotypical jokes and mockery. Classmates would lift the sides of their eyes saying “ching chong” or tell me repeatedly that I should be good at math and science because I’m Chinese, even though those two subjects have always been my worst.

Knowing that when people would find out that I am half Chinese they would react so negatively, I began to become more hesitant to unveil this truth. And after a while, I can regretfully say that I became more and more relieved that I look less Asian and more European. It gave me the chance to hide who I was, to escape any mockery or judgment.

In the society I grew up in, those of European descent were revered and Asian cultures were dismissed or demeaned. Because I had the privilege of being half white, I was often able to escape the discrimination that most Asian people receive. I used it to my advantage and because of this, I never allowed myself to embrace or learn more about my culture.

I wish I could turn back time and ask my mom more questions about her traditions and beliefs, to proudly share my culture with my friends, and to meet others in the same position. Learning more about my mom, her family, and how she grew up gave me a newfound respect and love for her.

I only wish it came sooner.

Had I not received a flood of stereotypical charades and appalled looks, I might've been more willing to accept that part of me earlier. If I had seen more respect for Asian culture than stereotypical fallacies, I might have had more courage to stand up and defend myself to those who did challenge my ethnicity.

I am wholeheartedly proud of who I am now. But to deprive someone of a beautiful culture in their childhood is wrong and is still something that needs to change.

There is no reason to be ashamed of yourself no matter what ethnicity you are. Stand up for your beliefs and embrace your culture and your traditions because it helps shape who you are and who you grow to be.