I have loved Drake ever since he left the wheelchair on Degrassi and started making his own music. As a dedicated groupie, I have been anxiously awaiting the official music video for his catchy new hit, Hotline Bling. As expected, I was not disappointed, but maybe a little…weirded out?

The video starts with the words “Of course I’ve played with feet before!” Already, I had to pause the video. Was I ready for what was about to come? Why are we talking about feet? And who in their right mind is playing with these appendages? The only option was to continue the video for context.

Next, the video pans over some of the most gorgeous women of color to ever be featured on a music video (besides Beyoncé of course). All of these stunning ladies are working at a hotline service (just take a guess at what type), and this makes me wonder why these women are working desk jobs instead of trying to get some modeling contracts.

Now the good stuff: Drake starts dancing. His moves remind me of a mime, or maybe a salsa dancer? Like a toddler salsa dancer who’s never had a lesson. But it’s Drake. Drake can make anything look cool.

After pausing the video for the second time to make some popcorn and grab a Capri Sun, I return ready to tackle the last two minutes of the video. The dancing resumes, but this time the moves are more grown up. Elderly. Imagine your dad dancing in the car to a Taylor Swift song. That’s the type of old we’re talking.

Throughout the video, Drake throws in some more women who are way prettier than me, and succeeds at breaking the remaining self-esteem I had. The shot switches to Drake holding two cell phones. TWO phones. And I’m pretty sure these were both new Rose Gold IPhone sixes. I know Drake is a super-rich rapper and all, but I can’t even afford one cell phone bill, much less two. Who is he calling? Why can’t he just hang up and call the next person? Does he use them at the same time? Is this why they're on back order? For the entire duration of the video, Drake has been standing in a room with no ceiling and only three walls. How does he have two cell phones but doesn’t even have a roof over his head?

Towards the end of the video, it appears someone finally realizes that Drake doesn’t know how to dance and sends in (you guessed it) another beautiful woman to help him out.

Drake successfully produced a video that made me question my entire existence. Should I get a job so I can pay my phone bill? Should I take a trip to the gym to get a killer body? Should I study for my psychology test tomorrow so I don’t have to work at a hotline service? Or maybe I should go take some dance classes.

However you felt when watching this salacious video, Drake still made something entertaining to watch and is going to be rich no matter how a broke college girl feels about it.