Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it – the teacher from The CW’s Riverdale is a rapist. Take a breath. I know that’s a very harsh opening sentence, but in my defense, I think it’s ridiculous that writers think that they can still get away with using such a tired, ridiculous, and downright gross storyline.

But let’s back up a bit.

For those who don’t know, Riverdale is a teen drama mystery series based on popular Archie Comicscharacters, such as Archie Andrews, Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, and Josie and the Pussycats. The teacher I mentioned earlier is Ms. Grundy of the Archie comics. Now, I did not grow up reading Archie, but after doing a little research I realize how horrifying that sentence must sound to longtime fans of the comic. In the CW show Ms. Geraldine Grundy has a sexual affair with Archie Andrews. Ms. Grundy, the no-nonsense elderly homeroom teacher who, in earlier comics, wore a wig to hide her baldness.

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Yeah, Sarah Habel, 34, the actress who portrays her doesn’t exactly match the description. Oh, and now she’s the music teacher, because artists are sexy.

This is not the first time characters from an established franchise have been aged down and replaced with sexy 20 and 30 somethings, and there’s nothing wrong with that (okay, it’s kind of weird), but the real issue here is that in Riverdale, Archie is still a high school student.

Give me a moment, I’m having Pretty Little Liars flashbacks.

Why do writers still think that we want to see this? Newsflash: we don’t. I don’t. I’m tired of seeing the high school teacher having an illicit, Barely Legalesque relationship with their underage students. What’s worse is that these shows try to justify the teacher’s actions by explaining that the underage teenager is actually years beyond their age mentally. In this case, after the falling out of their sexual liaison, Archie wants to take an independent study with Grundy so that he can work on his new passion, song writing. See, songwriters are sensitive, and sensitive means mature!

Did I mention he has a set of abs you can wash laundry on? KJ Apa, 19, is a handsome guy, and the show certainly takes advantage of it. Shortly after Cole Sprouse’s monotone narration about the death of one of their classmates, the audience is introduced to Betty Cooper and her Gay Best Friend™ Kevin Keller (to be fair, a character later calls him out on the cliché). As Betty applies make up in the mirror – in her bra, because writers think that young women just take it off while in the presence of their designated Gay – Kevin admonishes her for not coming clean to Archie about her feelings for him. As he glances out the window he catches Archie changing across the street and declares, “Archie got hot!”, followed by the pair ogling their so-called “friend.”

Apa has his shirt off a lot in the first episode. It’s gratuitous, and it’s made creepy when we see that his relationship with Grundy starts off with her leering at him on the side of the road. In a flashback we see Archie, mopping sweat off his brow with the hem of his t-shirt under the blistering sun. Grundy just happens to drive by and catch a glimpse of 100% Certified American Beef Cake, and backs up the car.

“Gee,” I thought, watching the scene unfold on the screen. “I wonder what’s going to happen…” Another flashback, just a couple of minutes later, shows the two’s first sexual experience in the back of Grundy’s car. And here I thought the pained looks shot at each other across the room were trying to be subtle.

Of the two, Grundy is the more uncomfortable about their past dalliance. I wonder why. Actress Habel is constantly making this face that looks like she’s having a bad case of the poots, which I thinkthe audience is supposed to find sympathetic. I did not. It felt highly reminiscent of Ian Harding’s character Ezra Fitz on PLL. It always seemed like the writers wanted the audience to feel bad for Ezra (at least in the first season, which is as far as I watched) and the inner turmoil he felt about dating 16 year old Aria. As if someone made him get busy with a minor.

Ezra should feel bad, as should Grundy, but not because it’s so hard being in a steamy forbidden relationship with an underage hottie. As a former education student, it always surprises me that people forget about the bond of trust between not only teacher and student, but teacher and parent. Teachers are entrusted with the safety of their students from the moment they set foot in the door until they leave on the school bus. A lot of people take this responsibility for granted, and to all of my friends who are currently student teaching and substituting, I’m sorry that people don’t appreciate you enough.

Not only is Grundy shirking her duty as a teacher, but she is also inflicting a power imbalance upon Archie. True, Archie is studly and built like a brick house, but he is also just starting his sophomore year. As their relationship took place in the summer, it’s possible that Archie was only 15 years old. Just because he looks like a man, doesn’t mean that he is one. Teenagers are going through a lot between their bodies changing and the transition to upper education, and no amount of angsty songwriting negates that. If anything, it kind of exacerbates the condition. What is especially unsettling about the Grundy-Archie dynamic is that Grundy was clearly the aggressor. She approached Archie, she beckoned him into her car. Archie even later admits to Veronica during a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven that he fell in love with someone over the summer. Woah.

According to Sprouse’s emotionless voiceover at the end of the episode, following the recovery of their classmate’s body, the first arrest will be made in next week’s episode. I hope that Grundy is a part of the arrested. I certainly can’t stomach the possibility that the show might try to get her and Archie back together (even though he and Veronica do share a completely unearned kiss in the closet #teamberonica), much like Aria and Ezra’s exhausting on-again, off-again relationship. I cannot, and will not, root for yet another statutory rapist. Find something else to make her character interesting, because that ain’t it.