The Horrors Of Shopping Plus Size

The Horrors Of Shopping Plus Size

Going shopping shouldn't be a nightmare.
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Let me start this out by saying one simple fact: I am fat. Before the argument starts, I do not believe fat is a bad word. It is an adjective to describe how I look the same as how people describe others as skinny. Fat has been made to be a bad word by society, not me. I am happy with the way I look. Sure, there are some days that I wish my legs weren't rubbing together under my dress or that my arms didn't jiggle so much. But everyone, no matter the size, has a day or two when they are not happy with themselves. But for me, most of these days happen when I go shopping. While shopping is something that I love, the fact that I am plus size makes it something I dread. It is time for companies to start treating plus size people like lesser humans.

1. First of all, stop putting us in a different section.

Like most people, I like to go shopping with my friends. But that's kinda hard to do when all the clothes my size are pushed to the very back corner of the store. One of my absolute favorite places to shop is Target. They have stylish clothes that are super affordable. That is, they have super cute clothes for the skinny girls. For me, I am somewhere around an XXL all the way up to a 3x at target. This means that if I'm lucky, one of the five shirts I get from the regular section will fit me. But to get clothes in a larger size, I have to go to the back of the store in between the sales rack and the maternity section. Nothing is more humiliating than having to go to the back of the store just to find something that fits me. And this isn't the only place it happens. I have the same problem at other stores such as H&M and Forever 21. I simply do not understand why plus size sections have to be hidden in the back as if the store is ashamed to carry such products.

2. Please, I beg you, let me wear something other than a potato sack.

Yes, I get it. I'm a bigger girl. But that does not mean all fashion styles go flying out the window. Recently, I went to H&M and saw the cutest romper. Now I already have one romper from another store and absolutely love how it looks on me. When I went to find my size, I was sad to see that it only went up to a large. Instead of being sad, I decided to look at the plus size section to see if they had anything similar to it. What I found was a disappointment to say the least. There were 3 or 4 racks of clothes total in a store the size of Wal-Mart. Half were sweaters on sale from winter. The other half were solid tees, boring clothes, and nothing in fashion at all. Now I live in Huntsville, Alabama which is a pretty decent sized city. It is definitely large enough to have a plus size section bigger than 4 racks. And I feel like every store I go to, the selection is just smaller and even less fashionable than the last. One of the reasons I am so confident with my body, is because I know how to dress myself. But when bigger girls are given no options, it is hard to feel confident. I'm not saying you should praise me for getting the large fry instead of the small. I'm just asking that you don't punish me for it by taking away all decent clothing choices.

3. I know I'm bigger, but there is no way the fabric cost that much.

I am aware that it takes more fabric to cover all of my rolls, but that does not mean you need to charge me 2 or 3 times as much. It's summer, so I have been going bathing suit shopping. This is already a struggle because no matter how confident I am, a bathing suit shows everything I have fears and doubts about. So I was out shopping and found a few suits I liked in the regular section, but none that fit me quite right. Keep in mind that these swimsuits ranged in the $20s. When I decided to venture into no mans land and look at the plus size swimsuits, I was truly embarrassed. All of the swimsuits had as much extra fabric as possible and were absolutely hideous. To top that, they cost at the cheapest, $40. The same happens with most plus size clothing. I get half the style for twice the price. I simply do not have the money to buy such expensive clothing and really don't want to when the same store is selling tops for $3 in the regular section. I am willing to accept that it does take more fabric to cover me. I am not willing to accept that stores use it to their advantage and charge whatever they want.

I know that there is a better way to treat bigger girls. Stores make it out to be the hardest thing ever, but it simply isn't. My favorite place to shop is Old Navy. They offer clothes that fit me right along with all of my skinny friends. It is nice to have a place where I do not feel embarrassed because of my size. Sure, some things don't look right on me, but some things that look great on me don't look right on my friends. Again, I do not ask the world to approve of me being fat. I just ask that I am still treated as a human of value. Instead of putting me in the back with overpriced, ugly clothes, just put all the "women's clothes" in one spot. Being big does not make me any less of a woman, so stop acting like it does.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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Not Wearing A Bra, And 11 Other Things Girls Do That Make Guys Uncomfortable

According to men, we're the biggest enigma.

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As a woman in today's society, it seems like according to men we can do nothing right. We either get over sexualized to the point where we are told "cover up" or over sexualized to the point where we are called prude for not showing enough skin to attract the attention of the men around us. Taking all of this into consideration, guys are still grossly uncomfortable with normal things that women do in today's world. If you're a woman reading this, I'm sure you're already forming a list in your head. If you're a man, well, here are 12 things that you are uncomfortable with that you probably shouldn't be.

1. Not wearing a bra 

First and foremost, whether I cease to wear one out in public or in my home, trust me, buddy, I'm not doing it for you. I'm not doing it so you'll mention the fact that you can tell I'm not wearing one. I'm doing it for my comfort level, and most certainly not for your benefit. At all. Ever.

2. Denying their advances 

Grabbing my ass is not the correct way to ask me to move out of your way, catcalling me will not get my attention, and no, buying me a drink does not mean you automatically get laid. Not only do you look like an idiot to every woman around you with that kind of mentality, but to the girl you're trying to impress by being a pig? Yeah, she thinks you're pretty stupid, too.

I know it just kills your ego when we tell you no. How dare we make YOU feel uncomfortable by denying your lovely attempts at getting our attention.

3. Not accepting a drink they hand us

They offer you a drink, you say no, and suddenly not only are they mad on some occasions, but their poor ego is damaged indefinitely... Until they try that same move with the girl a few places down. They don't understand why you won't accept their drink that they were so nice to buy you.

Uh, you could drug me. If you want to buy me a drink, let me order it, watch the bartender make it, and then you can pay. Please don't expect me to take a drink right from you.

4. Traveling in groups to the bathroom during a girls' night out

We only do that because there is strength in numbers. If it makes you uncomfortable, sorry, but guys like you are probably the reason we do it. I don't know why our safety is any concern to you.

5. Knowing about cars, sports, or anything deemed a "guy thing"

You say one thing about a sports team or a car part and suddenly, according to men, you have no idea what you're talking about and they have to talk over you to explain it all, much better than you could. They only do this because the thought of us knowing anything about "guy stuff" makes their skin crawl.

6. Wanting careers 

How dare we want real jobs and to be paid as much as them! Silly us!

7. Thinking our place is anywhere but the kitchen 

Obviously we are meant to be of total service to the men in our lives, regardless of circumstances, right? We shouldn't have careers and hobbies when our life's purpose is to be a homemaker who slaves over the stove all day while our very masculine husbands do everything.

When will we learn? No wonder you guys are so uncomfortable. We don't know our place yet.

8. Wanting rights to our own bodies 

Uh oh, I think we forgot (again) that men are supposed to be in control of everything about us, including reproductive rights. No wonder they're so confused. They aren't always in control.

9. Not wanting kids

But wait! Isn't our only reason for being alive to mother a baby? It's a blessing to be a mom no matter what, according to men, and we need to fall in line. So, when you look a man in the eye and say you don't want kids, sometimes their eyes about pop out of their skull.

10. Having a menstrual cycle 

Men will never understand the daunting nature of our time of the month. Between cramps, headaches, and the constant desire to pop pain killers, it's grueling. To men, though, the whole thing is gross. Ew, we're bleeding. Forget about denying them anything during this time because most of them will not understand why.

11. Denying them sex of any kind, ever 

We have every right to tell you no. Listen, I know it just totally baffles you when we do, guys, but we owe you nothing. Let me say it again. We owe you nothing. No matter what.

12. Being independent 

By society's standards, even today, we are to allow a man to take care of us meek young women. You meet a man who intends to do that and by the first date when you pay for your bill he doesn't want you anymore. You want to work for your money and not depend on him, know about topics deemed "guy stuff", and stand up to him and he just doesn't understand why.

Let's face it: Guys will never understand.

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