It's an obsession, that I know for a fact, I am NOT the first college age male to have, and I know I will not be the last. Of course, I am speaking of the search many single males have for that perfect combinations of words, smiley faces, and other emojis that will get that "10" on Tinder to reply to you. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce to you today that I have in fact found the genetic makeup of what we've been struggling for so long to find: The Perfect Tinder Pickup Line.
As a recently single male, I can understand the funk guys can feel trying to put themselves back out there. Luckily for us, things like bumping into each other in the hallway and picking up each others books, having secret romantic summertime feelings that develop into a passionate relationship, along with every other cliche Nicholas Sparks plot, is all a thing of the past! Your future girlfriend will instead be determined by how cunning you sound in your tinder first impression! It's a fact that girls don't reply to "hey" or "what are you up to." Girls want a compliment, but in a way that doesn't sound needy, while indicating it is indeed their turn to respond. The time has come for a real line that get women on their feet. The scientifically calculated steps below should give some pointers to you newbies.
- No more "Hey": "Hey" is a conversation killer for us mere mortals (Not Channing Tatum) that you'll never recover from. I think as an easy first tip, if you can do literally anything but send a girl you match with "Hey", you're 48% more likely to get a reply.
- Compliment without coming off creepy: For your average sorority girl in Kentucky Greek Life, "Daummmmnn Girl!" - is really not going to cut it (unless she's a senior with no boyfriend or job plans...watch out). Instead, try to incorporate something she's doing in her pictures or a cheesy line about how cute your children would look with her hair color. Girls love it. I promise.
- Compel them to respond: So you've scored a few points by now, and that means she's dying to reply to you right? Wrong. Every guy in the world has copy and pasted either some form of compliment or another to her already (trust me, girls get WAY more matches than you do by default) and the only way to set yourself apart is your close. Give them a creative reason to reply. A simple way of doing this is to always end with a question, not a blanket statement that would be easier to ignore. As you get more creative, try to figure out a way to ask for a phone number. Remember, girls like cheesy, and the cheesier you can get the more likely you are for a reply.
If you follow these simple steps, you're more than guaranteeing getting a more satisfying response from the tinder girl of your dreams. Remember, girls WANT a cheesy pickup line. Only Stage 5 Clingers are wanting you to tell them with a straight face you'll give them children on message number one. Nobody want's a Stage 5. Nobody.
All of that being said, you can probably see what I consider the best message to be. Be creative, don't be creepy, and results will be guaranteed.
Think you have a better Tinder Pickup line? Let us know at KYOdysseyinfo@gmail.com for a chance of winning our completely unofficial competition I just started because I said so.
Don't swipe and drive.
