For Honey Bee
Start writing a post

For Honey Bee

I'm still sorry for what I couldn't control.

For Honey Bee

I really never thought I would have to write this letter, but you’ve been on my mind lately. I’ve been trying to understand what about you was getting to me. Will you ever read this? I can’t say for sure, but if you do, be warned I’m done blaming myself for everything that went wrong.

I still wonder where it all went wrong. Was it the ridiculous arguments? Was it the other people in our lives? You? Me? Sometimes I think we just may have just grown apart, but making myself believe something like that would be the entire reason it's entirely foolish. When we went our separate ways, I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I didn’t think that the aftermath of letting go of a friend like you would affect me as much as it did. The arguments and distance between us should have made it easier for both of us. I can only speak for myself from here.

I cried for hours. It’s funny to say that, to admit how much it hurt me. How do you handle pain when the person you went to is now the person causing your pain? We both understood that we were changing. It got to the point where though I still wanted to come to you first, you had found someone new to go to. At first, it didn’t bother me. We had friends outside of each other, so you not coming to me for everything was no big deal. We still had our random conversations that I loved so much, no topic was ever off limits with you. I am so thankful to have had that.

Eventually, our conversations took an awkward turn.



“How are you? / How was your day? / What’s up”

“*Insert simple answers here and repeats questions*”

“*Insert few words for answer*”

-end conversation-

There wasn’t a piece of me that didn’t blame myself for our distance. I told myself I wasn’t interesting enough, I was old news, you were moving on with your life. Maybe I just had to accept that once and for all. Our last conversation… we knew it was all over that day. We said our final goodbyes, and you told me that you would always be there for me. I told you I hoped to see you around, and that was the end of you and me.

Days go by, and I found myself still checking my phone to see if you had messaged. I found myself wanting to message you about the random things that were going on at school or the funny jokes that only you would laugh at. Gosh, I missed you. I missed talking to you. I still do sometimes, but at this point I know it was for the best. We weren’t good friends anymore, we are strangers now.

I wanted to believe that in the end you had just as much fault in this as I did, but I couldn't bring myself to blame you. It was me. It had to be all on me, right? What ended us? I did. Who's fault was it? Mine. Who could fix this? No one could. I blamed myself for two friends growing apart. I still do sometimes... I don't want to do that anymore.

I hope that whatever you are up to now makes you happy. I really do hope you’re doing well. There are still days where I wonder if I could have fixed this somehow, but perhaps some relationships just can’t last forever. I wish you well Hun.

Silly smiles and one last hug,


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments