I returned from my trip to Honduras just a few days ago. Since then, many different people have asked me "How was your trip?" For me, that question is always the hardest to answer. How do I put this life-changing experience into words? I could talk for hours about the things I saw and the people I talked to, but will anyone understand even then? So, I choose to respond with this: "It was the most incredible, yet most disappointing trip. I then follow that sentence with, "I am uplifted by being able to truly meet the needs of individuals, but I am torn down when I see that my help is only a fraction of what really needs done."

Before I went on this trip, I had many reservations. I had read articles in my different classes that talked about volunteers asserting their "whiteness" onto the countries they are helping by throwing money at them, othering them and not providing them with sustainable development. I did not want to be one of those volunteers. Looking back, I realize that I should have had more faith. It was the exact opposite experience for me. I was still able to be critical of some of the approaches we were taking, but I was also able to see that not all volunteers and organizations have to operate that way.

Throughout the week, I began to see how we were not addressing our own agendas, but rather we were able to meet whatever needs we came across. For example, we approached a man who explained to us that he had been dealing with these incredibly painful boils for some period of time, and he was unable to work or even walk because of it. That night we talked it through and prayed about it, and the next day, we were able to get him a doctor's appointment by paying for his expenses.

I also noticed that the people I was surrounded with genuinely cared about these people. The organization we were a part of (http://newbeginningbaptistmission.org) prides itself in being sustainable. We are not creating a reliance on our money and our support, but rather are giving Hondurans opportunities to go to school, get jobs and provide for themselves and their families. Some members of our group paid to have a lady learn how to sew, so she could learn that trade. We were focused on providing skills, rather than material things.

I saw so much hope in the organization that I was a part of, that I too am going to sponsor a little boy I met on the trip beginning in January. The little boy, Julio, and I had an instant connection. We played all sorts of games the night we visited his barrio, and we had some great conversations in Spanish. I cried when I had to leave him, and I'm not sure why. I felt like he was my son. Now, I am going to help him get an education by paying for his school costs this next year. It's not going to be easy for me, but I now see the importance of doing what I can with what I have.

As I mentioned earlier, I was skeptical of the idea of this volunteer trip because I wanted to "make a difference" without leaving a heavy American footprint. And though I came back excited and angry, I know that if organizations like the one I was a part of continue to grow, hope will continue to grow. And I am more thankful than anything this holiday season that through this organization and this experience, Honduras showed me that hope.