The other night I found myself late at night making the line at the nearest 711 to put gas in my car. Of course, I waited until the gas light was on and had no choice but to do it straight after work passed midnight. To my surprise I bumped into a girl I once went to high school with. I've ran into her at local bars and occasionally seen her on my Facebook feed, so it was no awkward hello.

Between the small talk she mentions high school, "Our high school reunion is coming up! Are you gonna go?" With a slight smile, I shrugged my shoulders and responded, "I mean yeah, I'll probably take my best friend with me, but that's not for another few years." Someone else chimed into the conversation and mentioned how they hated high school and most likely wouldn't return. She nodded her head in agreement and shook her head as if uncomfortable with the thought and said, "I don't think I'm going to go…"

I drove home that night actually surprised with her response. She wasn't the most popular girl in high school, but everyone knew who she was. She was in TV production, was always at the parties, and drove a pretty cool car senior year. In my mind, I figured she would be psyched to revisit old friends and teachers. Kind of ironic that the person who you would assume had a pretty memorable high school experience would be the one to avoid revisiting that time.

You see my high school experience was slightly different. I was what you would call a floater. I floated around high school knowing people and being "cool" with them, but I was no where near popular. I was in theater freshman year and performed for my school's talent show for three years straight. I won homecoming princess junior year, and was nominated prom queen senior year (I didn't win), but I wouldn't consider that being popular. I guess I was cool with enough people to vote for someone they kind of knew. I get it, I sound full of myself, but I only hung out with three friends and already had a college boyfriend my senior year of high school. I was pretty much done with high school by junior year and barely spoke to anyone during that time.

So, in a greater span of things someone would assume that the girl would who had loads of friends would look forward to a high school reunion more than the girl who couldn't wait to get out.

When I digged a little deeper into my train i thought, i started to analyze what high school reunions really resemble. High school reunions back in the day was an opportunity to see where life has taken classmates through the years. In this generation, social media has allowed us to completely put all of our curiosities to rest. It's facing your truth versus the valedictorian who found the cure to all diseases and the first boy who broke your heart who now discovered an app that sort of shy you away from that moment.

So, is that the barrier? Are high school reunions just a reminder of how much time has passed? A time where the world seemed filled with possibilities and teachers with flamboyant PowerPoints filled us with motivation and dreams. To finally have that victorious moment where we threw our caps in the air to only have them fall right back down with the harsh reality of hardships and life that has directed us in different paths?

I'm going to be honest. I'm not proud of where I am in life. In my perception of success, I feel that I should have what society will claim, "My shit together." I should already be in my career of choice, perhaps done with college and mentally stable. Funny memes on Facebook get me through the relatable scenarios 20-something year olds experience such as: looking forward to our next free reward or spending too much money on coffee and alcohol. However, time continues to pass by and bad habits and routines continue to repeat itself. I'm sure we're not all a mess here, but I'm sure some of us are struggling with cycles of life and growing up.

Something that I've learned in the past seven years of already being graduated from high school is that no one has their shit together. Those who, let's say, have a house and kids and what Facebook shows as a successful relationship, still have struggles behind closed doors. For those who don't…. You're lying. The moment you realize that your 20's are for learning and growing and making mistakes the more you realize how relatable and REAL life is. It makes things like high school reunions less scary. I've witnessed people have their peak in their twenties and then fail miserably in their 30's. Be easy on yourself.

I wouldn't let the expectations of where you think you should be at this time stop you from most likely realizing that regardless of where anyone is in that moment of life is experiencing the same hardships you're experiencing as well. So when you recieve that high school 10 year reunion invitation, dress your best, take advantage of that open bar, and reminise on old times with good music.