Dear You,
Tough day? Tell me about it. More like a tough couple months leading up to a really tough year.
I did not realize that I had cruised through the first 19 years of my life with ease. Yes, there were definitely a few speed bumps along the way, but I had never experienced an immense amount of loss, fear and uncertainty until my 20's.
Certainly my story is unique, but I know parts of it is also fairly common with yours. I've grown up a lot since starting college as I am sure you have too.
However, I was unaware that life can become so complicated, so fast...
All of the sudden, I found myself working 50 hours a week, every summer, to afford attending the elite university of my dreams. My Nana, who had been such a part of my life, faded away as her cancer progressed rapidly, and I had to say goodbye to her on Halloween. My Papa was diagnosed with dementia and soon started mixing up his grandchildren's name. My cousin Katie, who is only a few years older than me, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. And to top it off, my beloved black lab Pollie was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of skin cancer and was given only six months to live.
Now for someone who had little experience with losing loved ones, I was shocked at all the changes happening in my life. There were days when I would sit in my dorm room sobbing, and think, "Why does this keep happening?" All the people I loved seemed to be suffering. Yet, here I am, barely keeping it together.
Eating junk food, skipping the gym, partying too much, struggling to pay attention in class and even struggling to attend class are all things college students struggle with. But we are faced with so much more than that -- we learn to deal with life.
Although I wasn't sick, I felt broken -- as though some days I had lost control of my life.
Regaining control of your life is so hard. It's one of the hardest things I have ever done and I am still struggling to do. I have to keep reminding myself to keep moving forward, life will get better.
As my mom always says, "There are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind."
I truly believe this with all my heart. I am blessed to be studying abroad in London this fall. I have a healthy family and a loving home to return to. My parents are hard working and have given me the most wonderful life full of happiness and opportunity. I have amazing friends and family, as I am sure so do you!
But that doesn't mean some days aren't hard. It's OK to be sad. It's OK to let go of all those feelings inside of you -- make room for the light to shine through you.
I'm here for you. Even though you may not know me, or maybe you do very well, it does not matter, just know that someone out there is sending you the very best vibes.
We are all on a journey. It will not always be smooth. In fact, I can guarantee that at times, it will be very bumpy. Hang in there and be so grateful for the life you have been given every day. I promise you that the universe will love you back!
Work hard. Be humble. Love greatly.
Love Always,
Caroline
