Yeah, you read that right.

He's not going to call you pretty, beautiful, intelligent, and you know what?

He's not even going to call you.

I'm sorry if you've been waiting by your phone for hours, waiting for a reply, a call, or a text back. It's not going to happen. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. You wouldn't have to sit by the phone waiting at his beck and call.

I apologize on the behalf of these dudes who may or may not be playing you. The truth is, if they’re not texting/calling/skyping you, they’re probably talking to someone else. It's a harsh reality to face, but it’s a good one to face.

In this generation of millennials trying to force love, or trying to just hook up through other social media sites like Tinder, it's important to acknowledge the true recognition for who you are, your talents, your worth, your dedication; they aren't going to come from Bryan on Tinder, or Eric on Snapchat. It's not coming from a one-night stand, or a blind date, or anything along those lines. And even if you're in a relationship, it's not coming from your partner either.

So, who's going to call you pretty?

Who's going answer your texts or calls?

It’s simple, you will.

You don't need some boy to tell you that they like you, or tell you what they think of you. You don’t need a man or woman to tell you that you are pretty. You don't need someone to answer your texts or calls.

As a person who has dealt with loneliness, it’s hard to get out of bed at 2AM after crying all night. You’ve got to get up for work in 5 hours, and you haven’t gotten a wink of sleep. But get up out of your bed. Walk over to the bathroom, and look at yourself in the mirror.

Tell yourself FIVE positive things for each negative thing you tell yourself. When you wake up in the morning, look at yourself and take a deep breath, and find THREE things you love about yourself. Before you go to bed at night, find ONE amazing thing to reflect on, and how YOU contributed.

This is the rule of 5-3-1. Doing this for one month makes a habit, and changes how you see yourself.

And then, think about how life would be different if you weren't the wonderful person you are; who would your best friend confide in? Who would your cat cuddle up to? Who would be the batter on your baseball team, or the clarinet player in band? If not you, then who? These are all the things that people love about you, and why you should love yourself for playing these roles. You are amazing. Besides your appearance and outside roles you play for other people, you have a beautiful inside. There are things you're good at that other people aren't, like listening, public speaking or being a mediator when your friends fight. You're intelligent, you can get an A in chemistry. Or you inspire through art, or writing... There's so much to love about being you, and so much to love about you. But only you can see these things about you... so it's going to be you who values yourself when boys can't.

If you are struggling or want to do more, or if you have anxiety, depression or low self-esteem, try this:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper.
2. Title it “Thought Record.”
3. Make 3 columns, you can add rows later.
   1. Name the first column “thought” the second “time of day” and the third “Cause of thought.”
4. Keep this paper with you and record all negative thoughts in your head throughout the day.
   1. This will help with knowing when most of your negative thoughts occur, analyzing the people you hang out with, where your insecurities come from… etc. it helped me a lot!
5. Analyze your paper. When did most negative thoughts occur? Who were you with? What were you doing? Etc.

It can be hard to do all this, but by the end of the first month, you might be making new friends, making lifestyle changes, and finding a confidence level in you that is heightened.

You can forget that guy, because you can love yourself better than he can.

So… What’s the point of all this?

It’s to prove to you that loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It can be hard, but here on some tips to learn to love yourself better:

1. Care as much about yourself as you do for others.
   1. It’s not selfish to care about yourself.
2. Maintain your boundaries.
   1. “Let people know what your boundaries are and what you will and will not tolerate. If they apologize, you can forgive them. If they do not, or continue to ignore your boundaries and needs, you need to create consequences. For example, if you tell your partner that you need him to listen to you and to acknowledge your feelings when you talk about something, but he continuously ignores you or tells you to get over it, you should respond with appropriate action, such as finding someone else to confide in. You may also need to reconsider the relationship. Relationships are meant to be a two-way street and you should be getting your needs for love, acceptance and respect met as much as the other person's. Being assertive and taking action to get your own needs met will build your self-esteem because it will reinforce the belief, in yourself and others, that you deserve to be loved and cherished.”
3. Do what you need to do to be you.
   1. Find out what you love to do, and do it as often as possible. It could be gardening, working in a car shop, collecting tea cups, etc. BE YOU.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others. People achieve success and fail at different rates.
   1. They’re dealing with their own dealing!
5. Exercise because it is good for your soul and not solely for your outward experience. Appreciate your body and all the things it can do.
6. Take vitamins because you want to be the healthiest version of yourself. Unless you want to be cranky and lethargic all day, make sure you get enough iron.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Which basically means:

Love yourself FIRST.

Forget about that guy who has forgotten about you.

When he comes back around, (because he will see how happy you are without him and want to ruin that) shower yourself in love and forgive him, but guard your heart. Don’t let him in.

The only person you need is YOU.