A year ago, my best friend met the love of her life. Now, she is happily engaged and eagerly preparing for her new life. Our conversations are filled with wedding planning, future dreaming, and marriage preparing. Two other close friends are engaged, and another is in a serious relationship. The wedding season of my life has hit, and I remain single. On most days, I am content with where God has placed me. However, watching these friends blossom and grow has certainly made me second guess myself and my choices a time or two. Undoubtedly, there are many people who are in this phase of life. This can be a difficult place! Here are a few things I have found help me be genuine and content with where I am, even in the midst of wedding season.
1. God is in control of your future.
We must trust that He sees the entire masterpiece, and we can only see a stroke of paint. God has divinely placed us in this season of life, and we can know that He has a purpose in it.
Ecclesiastes 7:13 “Consider the work of God: who can make straight what He has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful and in the day of adversity consider: God has made one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.”
He has a plan, and we will not know it.
2. Singleness is a GIFT.
God has given you this time in life to grow closer to Him, serve Him, and minister to others. In many churches, singleness is seen as a problem to be solved. We need to view singleness as a gift and use it wisely.
1 Peter 4:10 “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.”
3. Do not dwell in the past or feel sorry for yourself.
God has placed you in different circumstances for this time in life, and there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself. I am so excited for my best friend. I have watched her change and grow so much in this relationship, and I look forward to watching her blossom into her new role as a wife. However, it is important not to sit around and think about the things you miss or wish for that are provided in a relationship. This gives an easy in for Satan to latch onto your mind and pollute your thoughts with discontent. Guard your heart and mind. When a negative or self-pity thought comes to mind, run it through Scripture.
Philippians 4:8 “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things.
4. God grows people differently.
He may grow and challenge some hearts through relationships, and other hearts through seasons of singleness. Either way, He orchestrates these times in life to bring us closer to Himself. Just as each of us has different spiritual gifts, so also each of us has different spiritual growth.
1 Corinthians 12:4-6 “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.”
5. Remind yourself of TRUTH.
I often find myself succumbing to emotions in my thought process. When this happens, I have a handy dandy list of TRUTH statements from Scripture to pull out and go through. I repeat them to myself out loud for as long as it takes for the thoughts in my brain to get back on track. Whether they are personalized to your life or generalized, they should be centered around the gospel and Christ.
Ephesians 6:13-14a Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth.”
6. Pray.
This is absolutely the most important thing to do. Tell God how you feel. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that He truly cares about my ever-changing emotions, but He does. He wants me to pour my heart out to Him. God uses prayer to change my heart. When I spend time with the Lord in prayer, He will begin to align my desires and heart with His. He knows me intimately, yet asks that I share my burdens and cares with Him nonetheless. When we kneel at the throne of grace, we can find strength for our time of need.
Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”
7. You are complete in Christ.
A common theme in the world today is that you need someone else to “complete you.” This is absolutely not true. Individuals are meant to complement each other in a relationship, not complete each other.
Colossians 2:10 “And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.”
When you feel overwhelmed by the unknowns of the future, be certain that the Father who made you, redeemed you, saved you, called you by name, has a plan far better then anything you can imagine. And over all, You are HIS.
