As I was sitting on the couch Monday night, I was fully invested in the season finale of The Bachelorette. I enjoyed this entire season, especially because I really liked Rachel and hoped she’d find the love of her life. As we got to the final few episodes, I was rooting for Peter and Dean to be the two men proposing at the end.

I was shocked when Rachel sent home Dean before Eric, especially after she told Dean she loved him at his home town visit. Even though I really liked Dean and thought he was adorable and funny, I did not think he would be a suitable partner in marriage for Rachel.

Skip forward to the final episode, after Eric was sent home, the audience and viewers at home were enthralled in who Rachel would pick as her future husband. We watched Peter and Rachel go on their date, but we were all waiting for the final, dreaded argument about whether or not a proposal is necessary to confirm their love and commitment to each other. My heart broke as I saw both Peter and Rachel with tearings streaming down their faces because they could not see eye to eye on such an important issue. In the end, it was this argument that ended their beautiful relationship.

I did not even know that they officially broke up until Chris Harrison announced that Peter would come out and speak to Rachel for the first time since their breakup. Watching the live portion with Rachel and Peter was almost harder than watching the breakup. Peter was still clearly hurt and in love with Rachel, while Rachel was acting cold and dismissive towards him. Even though she ended up being engaged to Bryan, I think that the breakup with Peter deeply affected Rachel, which is why she was so cold to him. I think she was shielding all the emotions she felt the moment she saw him again.

I am still processing the end of The Bachelorette, but I wish Peter all the best in his future romantic relationships, and that Rachel is sincerely happy with her choice.