Traveling can be one of the most amazing experiences someone can have. It can have some unintended consequences and make it harder to come home than it was to leave home. In May of 2016 I took a wonderful 3 1/2 week solo adventure to Kenya where I volunteered at a Women's Centre. In hindsight some of the things I did were stupid (traveling by myself to an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar language and a cell phone without international service and being picked up at the airport by unfamiliar men who I didn't know what they looked like). However, everything turned out fine. In fact, it was better than fine; I had an amazing time and those weeks were the best weeks of my life.

I lusted over the country for the months leading up to my departure and as soon as I arrived I knew I had fallen madly in love with it. I felt a sense of peace and a sense of home in a place I had never been and with people I had never met. It was certainly the strangest experience I had had in my life. I didn't go through "culture shock" when I got there and even when I came home I was doing relatively well with adjusting. It helped that I kept myself busy working at camp.

Now I'm a month into classes at Northern Michigan University, and the "culture shock" is real. It has become painfully obvious to at least myself (and maybe my friends and family too) that I left my heart in Africa and my soul at camp while my body is stuck in Marquette. Now don't get me wrong, I love Marquette but it just cannot compare to the places I've seen and things I've experienced. I think most people would agree that playing with school children, making jewelry, and bettering others and yourself is much better than sitting in classes and doing homework.

So what does it feel like to have your heart, soul, and body in different place? For one, I never feel like I'm here. I show up to classes and meetings just like before and even more prepared and excited to be there than any other semester but as soon as someone starts lecturing I can feel my attention leave. I begin to think about the women I worked with in Kenya. How are they doing? Is anyone volunteering at the Centre this week? What projects are they working on? How are Lucy and Agnes and the kids? How are the other volunteers? What are they up to? Or my mind flies back to camp. I think about the kids I served this summer and my co-workers that served along with me. How are my co-workers doing? Are they having as hard of time adjusting as I am? How are the campers doing? Are they all doing okay?

Another thing that happens when you are as disconnected as I am is that it appears that you don't care. The reality is I can't care. I want to care but it is much harder than it used to be. Even locking myself in a library study room can't get me to do my homework or study about stuff that's actually really fascinating. It's not that I don't care about anything it's just that I care about other things more. All I want to do is be in Africa or at camp and I spend a lot of time planning on ways to get back to those places.

Going to Kenya and volunteering reignited the "SAVE THE WORLD" side of me, which has turned out to be a huge part of who I am. Camp also re-ignited an intense spirituality inside of me that calls me to spend more time with myself and my Creator. But the thing about college is that it doesn't allow for time for "saving the world" or spending intense time in a spiritual place. Between classes, homework, work, student organizations, and a minimal social life the time really isn't there.

The third thing about this strange mental place I'm in is that I had substantially more time to "save the world" and submerge myself in spirituality from May to the beginning of school than I know I will all semester. I crave that slower paced, peaceful place I spent months in. I miss my communities that helped me recover after a long day or week.

Volunteering aboard and working at camp share that ability to quickly create an amazing tight knit and understanding community. That is not something you can easily come by in the "real world" (yes, college is the real world). The difference in my community abroad and at camp and my community here in Marquette is really what makes it the hardest to adjust.

But in all honesty, writing this article has helped me get closer to home than I've been in weeks. I think with more time and trying to replicate my summer world here I can help bring my heart and soul back to my body.