There will always be that a traumatic experience we go through once in our lives. Whether it’s fighting with a best friend, a bad breakup, or a family member passing away. When situations like these arise, it seems like our world starts falling apart. Our bodies start disagreeing with ourselves, our relationships with others crash and burn, but the unfortunately, we lose ourselves in the process. How do we heal ourselves? There have been many books written on this matter, and most likely many Odyssey articles written on this as well, but here is my very own path and steps of self healing from one still healing to another that could be starting, in the middle, or ending their own path of self-healing.
1.) It’s okay not to be okay.
It’s perfectly okay to not be okay. You don’t need to be strong at the moment, for yourself or for whomever else. No one expects you to be happy and dandy all the time especially in a sensitive time and place. Be mad, upset and sad all at the same time. Go ahead and cry. Punch some pillows. Do whatever you need to release your frustration and express your feelings of anguish. I personally stuffed myself with Five Guys and cried while binge watching K-Dramas. I played sad music and cried myself to sleep. It’s not pathetic in the slightest because everyone needs to let it out whatever it is that is bothering them. It will make you feel a ton better. Even if you have to do this days on end, just let your feelings out.
2.) Get out of that daily routine.
We all have a daily routine. Get up, get ready for school or work, go home, eat and sleep. Get out of that routine for a while. Doing the same routine could remind you of the loss of someone or going to the same places might click a sad memory in your head. So, change it up! Instead of going to the cafeteria at school to eat your usual meals, try going out to eat. Try going to a different academic building to study and do homework instead of usually being pent up in your room. Try inviting a co-worker you usually don’t talk to to your home. Little things like this can help you put aside those old feelings and introduce new feelings and memories into your life.
3.) Step out of your comfort zone/ Be spontaneous.
Going through traumatic experiences may cause you to feel alone, closed in, and unmotivated because everything is supposedly “falling apart.” If you feel like a piece of you is missing or lost - just refill it with something new. This is somewhat of a continuation of step two, but with more pizzazz you can say. Set big and little goals for yourself. For example, plan something big like a one-day road trip or something little like trying that new restaurant down the street. I treated myself every once in a while and drove almost an hour for my favorite food (Sushiritos - they are amazing) and I’ve even taken a candle-lit bath. I went to my first night club even though I’m somewhat claustrophobic and even bleached half of my hair! The possibilities are endless and in the end you’ll have a plethora of memories to cherish and good times to laugh about!
4.) Keep Yourself Busy
Not really an adventurer? Don’t like people as much as you thought? There’s a solution to that if you aren’t a huge fan of stepping out of your comfort zone. Simply do things that will keep your mind off the situation in mind. Take on a new hobby. Explore the interwebs. (Though I do warn you, that gets DEEP.) I personally utilized this step to the fullest. I ended up picking up a job, an internship, moved up to e-boards of two clubs at school, joined an internet- roleplaying group, started an art profile, and started writing. Here I am, writing about self-healing to self-heal on my own.
5.) Do what makes you happy
If you are sad, upset, and mad - do something to make you feel the opposite. This step is pretty self explanatory. I am a performer, so I cannot tell you how many times I’ve just belted out Whitney Houston home alone or danced in my living room to Bruno Mars. I’ve written countless stories about characters I made up in my head and watched so much anime. These are things that made me so happy when I even felt down in the dumps and still continue to pick me up on my worst days.
All of these steps cannot happen without you. You can allow yourself to cry. You make the decision to get that breakfast burrito you usually don’t get because you usually don’t have time in the morning. You drive off into the beautiful sunset to wherever you planned to go. Doing all of these things takes a lot of thought, courage, bravery, and motivation to heal yourself. When you lose yourself - remember this: You are human. You are the biggest obstacle in your way to self-healing but you are the key holder to your future happiness.
