. . . My mind runs wild
To comprehend
What no mind on earth
Could understand
Faith makes a fool
Of what makes sense
But grace found my heart
Where logic ends
When justice called
For all my debts
The Friend of sinners
Came instead.
Hillsong United, “Here Now (Madness).”
I remember being on the floor, my face on the ground, and my heart over my head. I was taking deep, shaky breaths, sobbing uncontrollably, listening to the words of this song. As the singer continued, not one person in the room had dry eyes. Everyone was with me, on the floor, crying and singing. I could barely breathe and I could not think. I just knelt there, completely overwhelmed with the newfound knowledge that God was there. Right there, in the auditorium with the rest of the students. This understanding that I now had completely changed my life, all at once. That is probably the reason for my hysterical tears. One second things were simple, and I was alone. The next moment, everything was different; I was alive and no longer alone.
...Your ways are higher
Your thoughts are wilder
Love came like madness
Poured out in blood - wash romance
It makes no sense but this is grace
And I know You're with me in this place.
This song is about being in the presence of the Almighty God of the Universe. It is about being still and letting His Spirit consume me, all of me. It is about giving God the only thing that He wants from me: my heart. Now that I know He is here, it is time for me to make a decision on how to respond. When I had this experience, I knew exactly what to do. However, it took me a moment to do it. At first, I just sat there, dumbfounded. I could not comprehend how the Creator cared about me, how He wanted me. The lyrics of this song reached right into my soul and held onto my heart. I knew that even if I did not understand it, I needed to accept it.
Here now
All I know is I know that You are
Here now
Still my heart
Let Your voice be all I hear now
Spirit breathe
Like the wind come have Your way
Heart and soul
God I know that You are here now
Fix my eyes
On the things that I can't see now
And all I see
Is the glory of Your Name.
From the moment I opened my eyes and gave my answer to God, everything changed. Not slowly, but all at once. It was a gentle but fast turn in the opposite direction. My heart now beat with an unexplainable joy and my eyes filled with undeniable life. My smile could not be taken from me and the fire that was starting in my chest consumed me. Everything I did and everything I wanted was for God. This was almost eight months ago, but nothing has changed. Yes, days are hard and weeks are long. But through this beautiful song, Here Now, the Savior of the world spoke to me, and it will never be the same.
Heart and soul
God I know that You are here now
Fix my eyes
On the things that I can't see now
And all I see
Is the glory of Your Name.
