It’s hard to start a conversation about privilege on the internet. The "p-word" is usually met with comments along the lines of, “I’m not privileged; I’ve had to work hard for my success!” or “Why should we worry about other people’s problems? We have problems, too!”

The thing is, privilege is not a “get out of all hardships free” card. It’s a “get out of the specific hardships that exist in our society for people with these specific traits” card. And because nobody has only one trait, it’s very common to have privilege for some traits and be targeted for others.

Let me use myself as an example.

I live in the United States of America. I've never had to worry about my government infringing my freedom of speech. I know that the food in the grocery store follows regulations to make sure it’s safe to eat. I have first world privilege.

I have white skin. I never have to worry about being judged negatively by teachers, police officers, or job recruiters solely based on the color of my skin. I know that if I turn on the TV at any time, I’ll see shows about people who look like me. I have racial privilege.

I have a vagina. Politicians make laws restricting the decisions I can make about my own body and put taxes on items necessary for my health. Teachers, police officers, and job recruiters may make negative judgments about my intelligence and emotional capability based on my sex. I am targeted because of my sex.

I identify with the gender that I was assigned at birth. I know that if I tell someone they’ve used the wrong pronouns for me, they will apologize and correct themselves. People never question my life choices in regards to my gender presentation and are unlikely to ask inappropriate questions about my genitals. I have cisgender privilege.

I’m panromantic and demisexual. I experience romantic attraction to people of any gender, and experience sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with a person. Whether I am likely to feel safe or unsafe while showing affection to my partner in public depends on the gender of my partner. I potentially either have privilege or am targeted because of my romantic and sexual orientations.

I’m middle class. My parents are married and employed. I have received good education and academic scholarships. I have never had to worry about paying for meals, electricity bills, or medical attention. I have class privilege.

I am healthy, with no debilitating disabilities, chronic illnesses, or mental disorders. Buildings, vehicles, and entertainment are created with people like me in mind as the user. People never make judgments about my intelligence or competence based on my physical condition. I have able-bodied privilege.

I am Jewish. I don’t get time off of school or work for my religious holidays. I am unlikely to find meat in the grocery store that I can eat according to the laws of my religion. I have been told cruel jokes about members of my religion and have been pressured by my peers to change my religion. I am targeted because of my religion.

Note that this article doesn't contain all potentially privileged traits.

It’s important that we be aware of how we have and lack privilege because then we know what tools are at our disposal. Different privileges provide different tools that can be used to support targeted groups, including work and social connections, disposable money and time, and a higher likelihood to be listened to. People of privilege can tell their friends and congresspeople to listen to targeted people about their needs (speaking of which, check out these cool people).

Since we are all both privileged and targeted, this isn’t a matter of worrying about some uncared-for “other people”. It’s about us. We each have some tool that we can and should use to help us in the areas that we need it.