I'm not really someone who ever has a crush... like, ever.
I can count on one hand the number of crushes I've had. But, when I do have a crush they are usually out of my league. Not to be mean to myself, I'm okay looking, but if I'm going to date someone I want someone who looks cuter than me. You know gotta give our children a chance, plus the feeling you get when you just walk in with a great looking man next to you nothing can compare.
My current crush he doesn't match any of my criteria. Yes, I have criteria, we all do I'm just more honest and open about it. I generally go for men who are tall, mixed-race, and athletic. This guy he is tall I'll give him that, but he isn't mixed, or athletic. Unless you count playing squash (the rich peoples' version of racquetball) being athletic, and I certainly don't.
And still, I like him. I can't help it. Every time he smiles at me or hugs me I get all giddy inside. Every time we hang out I get more and more attached. There's just one problem I don't know if he likes me back.
In my friend group, I'm known as someone who is super confident and not afraid to go for what she wants. That couldn't be more from the truth I'm good at hiding my fear, but with him. With him, I can't hide it. Every time I convince myself to ask him if he likes me I think about all the reasons why we wouldn't work. It all comes down to one difference that shouldn't matter but creates a cavern between us.
He's Asian and I'm African. I mean how many Asian and African couples do you see just walking around. It's something we both can't control, but these titles define us. They shape us to be who we are, and they mean the world to us. I would be nothing without my African culture. It is even harder because we are both international students, so our families are still very connected to the ways of our respective countries. I know most people wouldn't worry about that when beginning a relationship, but if you don't date to eventually marry what is the point.
Since there is nothing I can do about our differences, I've convinced myself that going slow is my only option.
I'm just going to watch this play out and fingers crossed, it turns out good.
