My 20th birthday is September 18th. Many people assume that it's a day I look forward to. In reality, I know I'm going to get super depressed. It's not that I don't have a loving family to go out to dinner with, a great cake, or a wonderful present. It's not even that I need anything like that anyway. It's that my birthday doesn't just feel the same way it did when I was a kid.

I remember waking up on my birthday and feeling like a new person. As if being a year older completely transformed me into an ultimate being. I would go to school and feel like I was completely special. My teacher would give me a special privilege for the day. I had a whole group of friends that were there by my side. I didn't have to worry about having people to make plans for the weekend to celebrate. I would get something from my parents that I was one hundred million percent excited to get. My friends at my birthday party would give me Barbies, dolls or craft sets to play with. I couldn't ask for anything else.

Now when I wake up on my birthday I miss these experiences. It was so wonderful, so perfect.

I wish I could feel that same magic.

I told my therapist how I felt and she replied: "why don't you make your own magic?"

I could go on a day trip. I could go skydiving. Something that is different or exciting is what I could do. Anything that feels magical to me. It doesn't have to be the same for it to be great, it can be different and I can make it exactly what I want. It doesn't even have to be on my birthday, which happens to be the day I have classes from 11-7:40. It can be on the weekend, in honor of my birthday.

To anyone that feels their birthday is just another day and lackluster in excitement, go make your own magic. You're not the only one that feels that way and I promise it will make the day much better.