Hi! I'm Hannah- the introvert that hates being an introvert. I can't be alone, can I?
You see, I actually love talking to people and dream about having the biggest, most wildest social life anyone has ever seen. When I wake up in the mornings, I have these ambitions of being the bubbly, annoying girl that everyone seems to love to hate. I want to be bright. I want to be happy. I want to be the most talkative girl you've ever came across.
When I wake up, I set goals to do all of this. I do.
But once the door closes and I walk out, all that changes.
I want to go back home. I want to be an antisocial blob of nothing in my bed.
As soon as I start talking to friends and complete strangers, I remember why I don't. It truly tires me, though, I am fully aware of how bizarre that sounds. I start off with a good foot, smile plastered on my face and a cheerful voice to fill the silence. Sometimes people respond with smiles. Sometimes it's mere silence.
It's okay, though. Because a few short minutes into accomplishing my bubbly dreams, I would rather go to sleep.
You see, this is the problem of being an introvert that hates being an introvert.
All I want to do is become one of those tireless, happy extroverts that seem to soar around groups of people without stopping. I want to be where the people are. But instead, I wear a RBF (resting bitch face) and plan an escape plan from any social event.
So to all those like me: know that it is perfectly okay to want to be social…but realize that you hate the mere idea of it.
Together we will made our voices heard. One day, maybe.