I’m not sure if indecisiveness hits other young adults as it hits me. It’s like I almost welcome it with open arms — a dear old friend whom I’ve missed.

The thing is, when you’re 20, your life can always go one of two ways. (Then again, maybe that’s how it always will be, at any age.)

When I first got to college, I thought I had everything figured out. I had my life perfectly planned. I had a boy I swore I would marry, a major I was sure I’d stick with, and even had my ideal “dream” house that you could afford on a middle-class income.

If you know me, then you know I love planning. Whether this has to do with my slight obsession with wanting to control everything that goes on in my life — I’ll never know.

I love to know what’s going to happen. Sure, I love to be adventurous but I would have planned on “being adventurous” prior to it actually happening.

It’s as if I always prepare myself the night before. What I’ll eat, what I’ll do, etc. And if I don’t know what I’m doing or what I have planned, then I’ve already perceptually planned for not knowing, you know?

Anyways, being 20, once I had a major change come at me--everything else seemed to change.

Suddenly, I had no idea where my life was going. Then I realized, my entire life was in my hands. I had no control over what could happen — but at the same time, I had all the control in the world.

A new insight was born at 20. I had this sudden urge to take on new hobbies, interests, jobs — I mean, I could do anything, right?

I could change my major, change schools, study abroad — I was eager to explore my endless opportunities. That’s what I love about being 20.

What I hate, is that having a “planner” personality. I never know what could happen. As of now I have no definite glimpse into my future. It’s kind of great, refreshing actually. However, it’s also unnerving for someone like me.

I think what I hate about being 20 is the indefinite certainty. Everything is so new and so fresh, it’s the peak beginning to the rest of your life. Some may argue that you never know where your life is going no matter what your age may be, and this may also be true.

But when you’re 20, everything is so profoundly new, that you can’t even be sure about half of your life. At least to me, it seems the older you get, the more certain things become (or maybe this is just the theory I like to believe in as a planner).

However, I must say I love being 20, but what I love most is the fact that I’m that much closer to being 21.