The first year of college is all about transitions: leaving home, high school, your friends, and your comfort zone. It can be a lot of change, and that can bring a lot of emotions. I hated the first semester of my freshman year here at VCU. I called my parents crying all of the time, I didn’t have many friends, I missed my boyfriend, wanted to drop out, and I was pretty much miserable. My anxiety was at an all-time high, I was intimidated by the city, and I spent all of my time in my dorm, or at the library. My grades thrived because of this, but my mental health didn’t. I don’t drink, I’m not the party type, so I figured I was screwed. I was SO wrong.
College has nothing to offer but open doors. There’s a place for everyone. I found my independence, my little corner of the world, by finding the things that make me happy. I’m an early bird, so weekend mornings are my favorite time; grabbing a coffee and a smoothie bowl and getting my favorite seat in the library. Reading, writing, and journaling, getting lunch with my friends, going to the river, seeing the museums the city has to offer, catching a movie, hitting the gym…shall I go on? The bottom line is I’m not here to just study, I’m here to live my life. I was blocking myself from seeing the beauty that this life, my life, has to offer because I wasn’t living the expected college life.
I was lost for a little bit, trying to figure out how to balance out my life. I made some friends, lost some, but the ones that stuck around I could not be more grateful for. I reconnected with my church by watching weekly services via podcast, and keeping in touch with my faith. I leaned on my loved ones a lot, asking them for support, specifically my sister who had gone to VCU herself. They offered to me what they could, but ultimately these were decisions I had to make for myself. I found out a lot about myself: I enjoy my alone time, I can still go out with my friends even though I don’t drink, it’s okay to stay in too, I have a passion for art, I love a good cup of tea, my life doesn’t have to be 100% school work all the time, and I’m ready to be an adult.
This is something I had pushed away, the ‘A word’…adult. How could I be an adult? I wasn’t ready to be labeled as one until I realized It wouldn’t change anything about my life. All it meant was I was taking a step forward into my life, living as my own being. I have to say, once I realized that, it came with the realization that I controlled my own life. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought, if I wanted something, I could go get it! No one could hold me back, I’m a grown up! So I embraced my new-found adulthood and wore it with pride. I’m now thriving in my everyday life; finishing my first year of college with a 4.0, I’ve cut meat and dairy out of my diet and I feel immensely better, I work out frequently, I indulge myself with reading, I’m a good friend, and I reach out from my comfort zone to expand my horizons. I pushed through the storm clouds of my first semester to become the sunshine I live in now.
