Valentine's Day is upon us, which means you've got your two groups of people: the lovers of the holiday and the haters. And honestly, us haters will always dominate this day (if only because we're so passionate in said hatred). So if you, too, find Feb. 14 (and the days leading up to it) unnecessary and obnoxious, then you're one of us and we welcome you with open arms.
Basically, if you hate Valentine's Day and you love "The Office," this post is for you.
Everyone around you seems to be filled with romantic optimism and perpetual hope, and you're just sitting there like
All your friends that are in relationships keep asking you for advice on what dress they should wear to dinner and which gifts they should buy for their boyfriends and this is literally you in response
Every store you enter has been throwing this godforsaken holiday in your face since, well, let's face it, like the day after Christmas. You start to forget what life was like before the craze of Valentine's Day and its marketing hell was upon you.
But you know that you're definitely still gonna buy some of that annoyingly advertised chocolate to eat alone in your room anyways.
What did that delicious looking array of desserts do to deserve your hatred?
The answer is nothing. Eat up.
And yeah, you hate Valentine's Day, but deep down you know that this is secretly what you want—because seriously, Kevin has a point, you guys.
(Just don't tell anyone you actually have emotions and desires. It's a sign of weakness for people like us)
During the early weeks of February, if anyone asks about your love life, it is perfectly acceptable to respond in this manner.
(Because if you admit that you're single, you know you'll have to answer a thousand unwanted questions as to why)
I mean, you don't even know why you're single to begin with. You're cool and totally relationship material. It's everyone else's loss.
For you, Feb. 13 is comparable to your favorite bar's "last call." You know the fun is coming to an end, but there's still time for one last drink before reality strikes again.
But nothing. I repeat, nothing, is worse than the overflow of social media posts pertaining to Valentine's Day and all that comes with it. If you have to see one more boyfriend appreciation post or 30 more pictures of diamond rings and roses, you're actually going to vomit.
Just breathe, channel some fake happiness, and opt for sarcasm instead.
And who knows, maybe by next year you'll be in a happy and loving relationship of your own, ready to change sides on the war against Valentine's Day. And if not, that's fine too.
In reality, this day is just a day.
