I love love, but I hate Valentine's Day.
I promise, I'm not bitter (well, at least not about being single). I have spent Valentine's Day in almost every way imaginable: with family, with friends, at school, traveling, with partners, at parties, even with absolutely no one. Despite my various ventures, none have been able to bring me to the chocolate, kiss-filled dark side.
All this is not to say that I've never enjoyed a Valentine's Day. On the contrary, I've had some great ones, excluding the one spent snowed into my parent's house with my soon to be ex. I've experienced some great parties, some enjoyable dates and some unforgettable girls' nights. So, maybe to say that I hate the holiday itself is wrong. Maybe...
I don't hate Valentine's Day, I hate the idea of it.
The day itself is fine. I'm a good gift-giver and love to do it, and I've never been known to turn down perfectly good chocolate. I like dinner and movies and flowers and kissing.
What I have a problem with is the expectations that accompany all those things.
Valentine's Day should not create pressure.
There is a pressure that comes with Valentine's Day to make it Nicholas Sparks-level romantic. I especially feel for the guys here, because whether or not specific girls expect anything, society as a whole expects expensive jewelry and flawless dinner plans.
There is pressure on singles, but this pressure varies person to person. Some singles feel the need to appear careless and independently happy, while others feel that people expect them to either scurry to find dates or stay in watching movies and binge-eating Chinese food. I'm here to remind you that there is no "right" way to spend Valentine's Day.
My most despised pressure is that which falls on the "almost couples." We've all had relationships where you are definitely more than friends but there's no label. Is it okay to see other people? Do you buy them something for Christmas? And in this situation, what do you do for Valentine's Day?
For some, Valentine's Day is the turning point, the "go hard or go home" of the relationship that ends in either candy-heart fill bliss or awkward disaster. Others completely ignore the day. The lucky ones reach a happy-medium.
While these pressures aren't life-ruining or earth shattering, they're unnecessary. Couples shouldn't feel like they need to move more quickly or label their relationship based on how others think it should look.
My other problem with Valentine's Day is this:
Valentine's Day should not be an exception.
I've seen many people who are confused about what Valentine's Day is.
I've seen guys mistreat girls year-round and then take them to dinner one "special" night out of 365 and expect it to be enough.
I've seen longtime exes text one another on Valentine's Day apologizing for their mistakes, because Feb. 14 is a day to take chances on love.
These people, while good-intended, are forgetting that if you love someone, you should show them that you love them every day. By all means, celebrate on Valentine's Day with overpriced Hallmark cards and chocolate box roulette, but don't let that be the exception to a year of under-appreciation and waiting.
However you decide to celebrate this year, or if you decide to not celebrate at all, do what you're comfortable with and what sounds like fun. Then, on Feb. 15 and every day after, just remember to live, laugh and love like it was Valentine's Day.
