I cannot deny that as a child there was nothing better than a holiday that gave me an excuse to: a) get presents, b) see friends, c) stay up later than usual. Holidays like New Years' Eve and Fourth of July are what I lived for, despite the fact that my expectation never really met my reality. As I got older, my line of expectations kept moving further and further away from what actually occurred. And now, as much as I try to refresh my mind with the pre-adulthood excitement that came with all the so-called "fun" holidays, I just can't seem to feel anything but uneasiness when the season is upon us.

Let's face it, not having plans on a holiday like New Years' Eve is the absolute worst. And even though I'll try to deny it, I have no doubt in the power of the fear of missing out. Yeah, I said it. FOMO is real. And it creeps up the most right before Valentine's Day, Fourth of July, Halloween, and finally, New Years' (plus all the minor holidays in between).

Maybe it's because of my anti-holiday spirit or maybe (just maybe) it's because I never have a boyfriend on V-Day, but that is a BIG one for us holiday haters. It really isn't even the actual day that's filled with anxiety, it's the whole freaking month of February. Why one day has to define the whole month is beyond me, but it kind of sucks.

Finally, Valentine's Day is over, but next thing you know March rolls around and the Shamrock Shake is back. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing I don't like about some St. Patty's Day spirit, but to all who know me - do not pinch me, I probably won't be wearing green.

Now it's May, and we can't forget about every party-lover's favorite day: Cinco de Drinko. Oops, did I say Drinko? I meant Mayo. Cinco de Mayo. Just like that, FOMO strikes again. What exactly is Cinco de Mayo? Despite common misconceptions, it is NOT Mexican Independence Day. In fact, it isn't even celebrated in Mexico. So why do I have to be worried about having a Cinco de Mayo party to go to in the US?

The next major dreadful day is America's favorite, the Fourth of July. You might be thinking: what's not to like? Summer, fireworks, BBQs, and PARTYING. Yeah, it is pretty great - if you have something to do. If not, it's another anxiety-filled holiday where you feel like you have to be having fun in order to live up to the day's potential. On any regular summer day I'd be perfectly happy watching Netflix, eating yummy food, and maybe going to the beach. But no, Fourth of July must be better.

Ugh. Same goes for Halloween. Ah, spooky season is so fun, right? Who doesn't love hearing "Monster Mash" on the radio in the middle of September? Personally, all of October is a frenzy including trying to figure out what to dress up as and what to do on Halloween. Because again, if you're sitting at home passing out candy, you're just not living up to the "fun" potential that is Halloween.

Last but not least, there's our beloved New Years' Eve, the ultimate party holiday. This one might be the most depressing to not have plans for, because come on, waiting up to watch the ball drop on TV in bed and falling asleep at 11:59pm is just plain sad. And even if we do have plans, there's the whole New Years' Kiss ordeal that keeps the stress flowing. Basically, the chances that this holiday will meet our expectations are slim to none - leaning more toward none.

Simply put, the hype around these holidays tends to ruin them for me. I hate to be such a downer, but adulthood has made me realize that I would so much rather party on my own terms than stress about forcing myself to have fun.