At the beginning of January, I embarked on the most amazing journey of my life thus far. I had the incredible opportunity to study abroad in Costa Rica. It was one of the toughest experiences of my life as well. But the hardest part of the experience wasn't learning Spanish at an alarming rate, adjusting to the culture, or even figuring out how transportation worked. The hardest part was coming back home.
While this may not come as a huge shock (of course it's hard to leave the country you lived in for so long and friends you made during the trip), it may seem a little melodramatic. The worst part? Didn't you miss your family and friends? The answer is yes, of course, I did, every single day. And I loved coming back and seeing them again. Getting hugs, eating the food I missed, listening and telling stories about the time we were apart from each other. But now that that time is over, I have noticed how difficult readjusting has been for me.
My whole life was changed dramatically by this experience, but the changes are not necessarily something you can see. It's not like a new haircut or how I can now speak Spanish a little better. It's something that runs a whole lot deeper than that. Sometimes, it's not even noticeable to me. The very core of who I am has shifted, even if just the tiniest bit.
And the hard part about this is that no one truly gets it, except the friends you made during your study abroad trip who are now so many miles away and who you miss like crazy. As much as you can try to articulate your emotions to your friends and family, you can never fully explain yourself.
Yes, while some of this sadness is from not being able to travel every weekend and have grand adventures whenever you feel like (beach withdrawal is a serious thing), a lot of it is harder to put your finger on. Yeah, you miss the food, the language, the culture, the inside jokes that now no one understands and the friends you made, but there is more to it than that.
The country you lived in and the experiences you had each took a tiny piece of your heart, and you are never going to get it back. You know the saying, home is where the heart is? Well, that is what makes coming home so hard. You are excited to get back to where your heart was, only to discover that now only part of your heart is here, and the other part of your heart is back where you lived for that short amount of time.
While those of us who have studied abroad are incredibly lucky to have two homes, it can also be incredibly hard. Because now part of your heart is somewhere far away, and you miss it like crazy. But of course, we would not change it for the world.
