The hardest part of college some might ask?

The roommates is what I would answer.

Living with other people in a shoebox of a room with only minimal space to spread out is a challenge. Especially when that person could be very much a stranger.

When I arrived to college I knew very little about my roommate, having gone random; but the one area I lucked out in was the fact that the roommate that I had been matched with lived near me so we were able to meet one another before the impending move-in date.

So, once we arrived there was a lot to learn about each other, but when dealing with roommates learning these things doesn’t just come by way of sitting down and doing an intensive thirty-minute interview of each party.

Maybe that should be required, because instead of getting all the details cut and dry, you must learn through experience. A roommate questionnaire and survey can only do so much, especially when you are just starting out in college, because in truth, no one is going to know what their life and habits are going to look like at school before they get there.

Someone might come into college thinking that they are going to stay up late and out of the room each night bouncing from one party to the next, but when they arrive at college, they learn partying hard isn’t what they want to do and instead, they are ordering delivery every night, eating in the room, and keeping to themselves.

While it would be the best-case scenario to go into a rooming situation with zero expectations and a totally open mind, that is never the case. In our heads, we think about the ideal relationship we want with whoever we will be living with, be it the fun, best friend type relationships movies are so good at creating, or if it is just a silent, amicable one with minimal words exchanged.

But when the dreams don’t turn into reality we have to get better at bringing up the issues we have and work to make compromises. Confrontation is so hard but it’s another lesson that college tries to instill in us.

But this is another hard lesson. It is somehow in most human’s nature to avoid conflict and we are afraid that bringing up a point of difference might create conflict, so instead, some of us may choose to steep and wallow in our frustration or annoyance which overall may make a situation worse.

For me and my current roommate, it is the temperature of the room. She runs warm and prefers things on the chilly side, while I think my internal thermometer is normal but I do prefer to be warmer than cold.

I feel like in this difference in our relationship, I have gotten a bit better at meeting her halfway. I can warm myself up by adding layers whereas you can’t really do that if you’re warm and want to be cooler. But I do have my limits.

I don’t want to feel like I have to wrap up in two sweatshirts, a scarf and ski socks just to sit at my desk to work. So, if it is 30 degrees outside, our heat is not turned on, and our window is open and I feel a chill coming in, I am going to ask for the window to be closed. I’ll sit through a minor glare but I know we can meet half way.

We all have quirks we have to come to accept in those we live with. While I get a bit annoyed over keeping the room colder than I would like, I know there are things about me that my roommate finds bothersome, like my overly spunky and peppy personality.

Fortunately, I enjoy living with her for the 85% of the time. I think the other 15%, well it’s okay not to be in love with sharing less than 600 square feet with another person and when it is one of those times where you both need space from each other, you should give it to them and find ways to release your stress in healthy ways.

But ultimately, while having a roommate is the hardest part of college, it is going to give me a lot of life skills that no academic class ever will, so I guess that’s what you get for paying for room and board beyond just a room, you get the life lesson of learning to live with another human, who may very well be a stranger.