Feels good! Feels new! Feels...clean.
I wonder what it’s like for someone born in the 60s. I wonder if any of them ever sat back and wondered, “What is 2017 going to be like? Where will I be in the year 2017?”
Full disclosure: One of my worst fears is that I will someday look back on my life and have regrets.
But isn’t everyone afraid of that? I mean nobody wants to wake up someday drowning in a pit of their own mistakes wondering what could have been and if they could have done something to change their present circumstances…..do you understand how deep this fear of mine goes, now?
2017: Another chance to try and not give myself a reason to regret.
See my problem is that I live too much in the future.
I tell myself, “by the end of this year, Christy, you are going to be a better person!”
Super realistic and detailed, I know. Then the year comes to an end and I find myself wondering if I am a better version of Christy now than the one that began the journey through 2016.
Am I kinder? Have I listened? Have I loved more? Have I learned?
What would it have looked like if instead of telling my end-of-the-year-self to be a better person, I would have told my tomorrow-self: love better; be kinder; listen and learn.
What if I stopped beating up my future self and learned to teach my present self with grace?
I don’t know about all this resolution stuff, ya know? I mean, I think it’s good to aim to be a better version of you. It’s a beautiful thing to want to grow.
But shouldn’t we be aiming to do this all year round?
I want to live a life where I challenge myself daily. I want God to push me to the limits every morning and night. I don’t want to set a goal for the end of the year and just hope that it happens.
I don’t want to sit here pondering on what the year 2050 will be like and where I will be.
I want to be present. I want to see now for now. I want to strive towards growth today.
No more yelling at future Christy. No more laying out impossible things for future Christy to magically achieve.
Tomorrow I will love better, I will be kinder, and I will listen and learn….
...And the next day I will do it again. And again, and again.
Just me trying to be more like Jesus–no regrets, because there is grace.
So, yes, I wish you many blessings and joys this 2017, friends.
But mostly, I wish you a very happy tomorrow.