In January 2016, I went to a pet shop after a really bad day in hopes of petting a puppy to help my attitude, and I met a little Australian Shepherd mix who had me wrapped around his paw. In the shop, they called him Amadeus. I wanted to be sure though. I went back the following month to see if the puppy was still there. He was, and my heart melted a little bit more for the rambunctious ball of fur. Finally, after weeks of talking about the puppy, and debating if I was ready for the responsibility of a dog, I went back with the same puppy in mind. A few hours later, I walked out of the pet shop with a four month old Australian Shepherd mix that owned my whole heart. No one told me though what I would be faced with. Now, in honor of National Dog Day, I forewarn you.

1. They Smell

Puppies smell. A LOT. The first time my dog farted in the car, I cringed. He has the ass of an eighty year old mule at nine months old.

2. You Become A Crazy Dog Person

I've had my dog for five months, and I'm already a crazy dog lady. Every time someone mentions canines, I want to whip out my phone and start flashing pictures of my dog.

3. They Drive You Insane...

No one tells you when you adopt a dog that you actually adopt a velociraptor. They bark, they chew, they jump, and beg. It doesn't matter how many toys you buy or wag in their faces, they will never taste as good as your socks.

4. .... But That Doesn't Mean Shit.

They steal your food, eat your socks, and make you go crazy, but you still love them. They will have you wrapped around your finger the first night you hear them whimper in their house to be let out.

5.... Because They Become Your Baby

It happens almost right away, but you lose everything that previously held value. Your sofa? Gone. Covered in hair, probably slightly torn apart pillows, and maybe, they took a tinkle on the side. It doesn't mean shit though. The second they look up at you with those guilty eyes, you just want to hug them tight and tell them everything is okay