Stop lying to yourself. You aren’t happy and, trust me, I can see right through you. You put up a front for those you surround yourself with so you don’t seem like the emotional girl everyone labeled you as in high school.
You save your complaining and cries for late nights when you are all by yourself. You sneak out of the house just to get in your car to drive away. You drive and drive while you scream and cry out your favorite lyrics. I’m sorry to break it to you, but you'll have to turn around at some point.
You call your “friends” and ask them to sleep over because nothing fears you more than ending up alone as you watch all of them go to parties and hang out behind your back. No offense, but those aren’t your friends. They leave you at home because they don’t want to deal with the same breakdown you had last week.
You're not okay and, believe me, it's okay to not be okay. It’s okay to cry and scream at the world for everything it has put you through. It's okay to have those days where all you want to do is lay in bed and watch reruns of your favorite TV show. But just know that there will be a time where you will have to get up. As much as you don't want to, life doesn't slow down just because you aren't ready to face it.
There is nothing more important than your own mental health. If there are days where you feel like the world is against you, then go ahead and take that pity for the next 24 hours. Just know that tomorrow is a new day. You will wake up one morning feeling unstoppable and capable of anything life is about to throw at you.
You shouldn't have to pretend to be happy. There is a reason why you are this low in your life. Don't worry, you'll find your happiness again. Concentrate on what makes you happy and who brings out the best in you. Stop getting so caught up on people who you have to pretend to be happy around you.
One day, all of that happiness will come back. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but when you finally feel that happiness in your heart again, it will fill the gap in your heart that has been missing for what seems like forever. When you do finally find that happiness, don't forget what it feels like.
You owe it to yourself to be happy. Prove to yourself that you are better than all those people who didn’t answer your calls all hours of the night. Show yourself that you will fight through this battle one day at a time, and you will become the person no one ever thought you would be again. You don't need to prove anything to anyone, except yourself. Keep telling yourself that one day you will be okay.
But for right now, it is okay to not be okay.
