If you’re like me, you've semi-accepted that your hair is never going to do what you wanted it to do. It always frizzes up or freaks out at an exact inopportune moment, and whatever you do to it never seems to make it look any better. You’ve tried all of the products, and all of them have some sort of weird, surprising effect. It’s either greasy, waxy, dry, poofy or a terrible mixture of all of these. It is completely understandable that eventually you would try anything to get rid of the bother, either by straightening it or cutting it all off. Maybe by now you have just accepted that you have curly hair and there is no escape

Well, I am here to tell you that you gave up too soon. There are SO MANY reasons that your curly hair acts this way. The number 1 reason is that you just aren’t taking care of your hair as you should be. I know, you shower regularly and use good cleaning products, so what are you doing wrong? Well, chances are you use the same shampoos, conditioners, tools and tricks that straight-haired people do, because hair is hair, right? Not exactly. Here is a list of all of the little changes you can make for healthy, amazing curly hair.

1. Don’t Use Heat Tools

The number one curl damaging force are all of those heat products everybody uses. Things like blow dryers, straighteners, curling irons, or hot diffusers all will slowly ruin your hair. Because curly hair is more sensitive to moisture (our hair follicles are more open than straight haired peoples’, which means that we suck up moisture more easily but also can lose moisture very easily) heat products do a lot more damage to our hair. Whenever we use heat on our hair (mind you, even warm water has this effect) the warmth opens up our hair and releases moisture. Unless you are using warmth to get your hair more moisture (i.e. hot oil treatments), it will dry your hair out and damage it, causing frizz and breakage.

2. Don’t Wash Your Hair Every Day

Actually, try not to wash it more than once or twice a week. Wash your hair depending on your hair type. Hair types go from 1A to 4C, 1A being thin and straight hair (think Cameron Diaz) and 4C being naturally coiled, extremely tight curly hair (think Solange Knowles). The closer your hair type is to 4C, the less you should fully wash your hair and the more you should condition it. Try showering however often you usually do, but swapping out a few of your showers for Co-Washing (washing your hair with a silicone-free conditioner and no shampoo). I am a 3A hair type and I shower 2-3 times a week. Also, be sure to use only sulfate-free shampoos when you do wash your hair because sulfates are extremely strong detergents and they will ruin your nice curls.

3. Drying Should Be Taken Seriously

You aren’t done after you get out of the shower. Avoid drying your hair with a towel, because those thick, absorbent fibers will suck all of the moisture out of your hair, causing frizz, breakage and eventually greasiness. Use a microfiber towel or a t-shirt instead. Your curly hair will be the most obedient when it’s wet, but once it’s dry you are stuck with however it turned out until the next time you get it wet. Either let your hair air-dry or, if you’re feeling impatient, try plopping it. Trust me, your hair will thank you.

4. Deep Condition

Since your hair has moisture superpowers, moisture is important and will keep your hair natural and healthy. Curly people tend to think that their hair is moist enough because after a few days without washing it gets a little greasy, especially at the roots. This greasiness can often be a side effect of under-moisturized hair. When your hair is too dry after you wash it, your skin and hair produce a lot more natural oil to try to moisten themselves, causing greasiness. Try deep conditioning or doing a moisture masque once a week to keep your hair soft and grease-free. If you don’t want to go out and buy a deep conditioner, you could always Co-Wash to get more moisture, or leave some (silicone-free) conditioner in your hair at the end of your shower. Or, for a more natural approach, use an oil, like coconut oil or argan oil. Oil (despite what straight haired people experience) won’t make your hair greasy unless you don’t fully wash it out.

5. No Heavy Products

To tame our frizz and craziness, us curly people will often buy a whole host of products and slather them on like sunscreen on an albino. Please stop doing this. The more stuff you stick in your hair (especially if it has silicones) the more crunchy and sticky it’ll be. Find one or two easy things which work for your hair, or better yet, stop using styling products and just develop a healthier washing regimen.

6. No Silicones or Sulfates

Silicones, found in most conditioners, are heavy compounds that coat your hair to make it soft and decrease frizz. They are also non-water-soluble, which means that they won’t wash out of your hair and could very well stay in your hair forever, weighing it down and making it gunky and full of residue. The only way to get rid of silicones is by using sulfate-containing shampoos. Unfortunately, sulfates are a drying chemical which break through grease and are used in dish detergent, laundry detergents, and shampoos. They are too harsh for curly hair, and they will strip all of the natural oil out of your hair and skin, leading to breakage and frizz as well as eventual greasiness. Run your bottle through this checklist before buying it, you'll thank me.

7. Love Your Hair and It’ll Love You Back

Lastly, just care about your hair. It will disobey you and look weird if you don’t properly love and tend to it. I am not saying that you have to become a curly hair guru (although the world could use a few more of them), just take care of yourself. We curly people are the minority, which means our beautiful tresses are desired by a whole lot of straight haired people. Treat it like the blessing it is. All hair is beautiful, as long as you are taking good care of it!