Yes, My Hair Is A Security Blanket
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Yes, My Hair Is A Security Blanket

It's as long as my list of insecurities.

1354
Yes, My Hair Is A Security Blanket
Anna Zavadski

Hey!


This is me!


You might say that I have pretty long hair, and I would have to agree.


The thing is, I use my hair as a security blanket. The longer my hair is, the more comfortable I am. This stems from a pretty long life of being bullied, and a childhood dealing with alopecia.

When I was little, I had alopecia areata, a condition which causes the hair to fall out in patches on the head, and in some cases, all of the body, and completely. I had three spots, ranging in size from a nickel to an egg. Daily, my mother would apply a topical corticosteroid to my scalp to help treat the problem.

You can't actually cure alopecia. You can only treat it. One of the reasons I keep my hair so long is because I'm worried that if I cut it too short, my alopecia will come back. Every time my hair breaks or "sheds" more than normal, I always wonder "Is this it? Is it back now?" While I do actually like short hair, and I'm envious of other girls that can rock it, I just can't bring myself to do it. Except for the time that I decided I was going to cut my own bangs and needed a haircut to match them, I've always had long hair.

Secondly, I've always been a chubby girl. For as long as I can remember, I've had some meat on my bones so to speak. While I generally present myself as okay with the way I look, most of the time, I generally dislike myself. And on some days, hate myself even. "Fat" girls are always looked down on in society. In movies and television, the token fat girl is always the sidekick, the best friend, or simply the fat girl. In the new movie Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarves, Snow White has these special shoes that take her from being ugly to beautiful. For example, with the shoes on, she is tall, pretty, and thin, but when she takes them off, she gets shorter and rounder, and therefore less desirable. I was even bullied throughout middle school, and even into high school for being fat. I found it hard to believe anything good about my appearance.


Especially when posts like this go around, praising a woman for eating more food than I could in a whole day,

It's hard to feel good about myself when posts like these exist alongside it.

There are photos of myself that I love, like this one of my good friend Heather and I:

Or this one, after my friend @therubygeorge's epic performance at Sexy Bingo:

However, there are photos of myself where I just wonder "How could someone even like me?" Photos like this:

Or this:

I keep my hair so long because I get so many compliments on it. "Wow, your hair is so pretty!" "You've got such long, beautiful hair!" "I wish I had your hair." I guess I'm just worried that if I don't have enough hair for people to look at, they'll notice how unattractive I'm supposed to be.

So yes, my hair is a security blanket. After not having some of it when I was younger, to having it be pretty much the only attractive thing on me, I definitely use it as a shield. Maybe I'll cut it some day, I mean, I'd really like to, but I don't think that day is coming any time soon.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

57221
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

36910
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958663
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

190589
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments