Out in the wild jungles of your campus, you will see the classic birds, squirrels, and freshmen scurrying around the outskirts. They're new, they're confused, and they could be trouble, but at least they're easy to identify. The question remains; are they safe to approach? Here is a helpful guide to carry with you so you're never stuck wondering.

1. The Classic Freshie

You can spot this one a mile away. In the wild, they may be seen with a lanyard around their neck and a campus map in their hands. They wander from classroom to classroom, anxiously checking their schedules like it contains all the answers to that exam they're terrified to take. They're timid and awkward and often seen in pairs or groups to alleviate the social pressure of a non-herd interaction. They are not threats and often quite friendly.

2. The Apathetic
This breed is unfortunately fated from birth. This one is the creature who is already "so done" with classes before they've even started. They don't come prepared for their first day and they never do the homework as the nights go on. They're a freshman in name only, since they're already infected with senioritis and will soon perish in the wild.

3. The Enthusiast
This breed is like the apathetic, but is infected with the completely opposite yet just as deadly disease; trying too hard. They join every club and try to be every upper classman's friend before they're even settled in. You'll often see them energetically intimidating others of their own species until they find themselves foraging alone. They refuse to get a lay of the land before throwing themselves fully into the wild, and without any experience they learn pretty quickly that nature is unforgiving in terms of time and sleep.

4. The Overcompensater
You need to watch out for this one. They're dangerous and have strange habits, especially in eating, and stalking their prey. They may not have gotten much attention in high school, so they go overbearingly overboard in trying to find a mate when they get to college. They often drink in excess once they are free from captivity, which keeps them sluggish but also risky. Once they are released into the wild, despite almost always being a greater threat to themselves than to you, the best recommendation is still to stay far away.

5. The Loner
This one you really don't need to worry about. This harmless specimen mostly keeps to themselves, mainly to be found in their natural habitat of the library or the corner of the dining hall. The more outgoing classmates often try and take them under their wings, but the loner will most likely reject it and quickly fall to the bottom of the food chain. Unless the loner finds someone with similar interests, he or she finds themself completely rejected from the herd.

This is a brief guide, but certainly not a comprehensive one, for any who are trying to survive the freshman infestation. Fortunately this season only comes around for a few short weeks a year, and with this information, I hope you're best equipped to make it through!