Though I've personally never experienced the dreaded topic myself, I've had to comfort others throughout the process. I always wonder what they would've done that minute, that day, that upcoming week, next month, and the list keeps going on and on. Death has to be one of the most dreadful topics to talk and write about. Without having gone through the pain of losing a beloved family member, I can not fathom the journey the rest of the family makes without the loved one.

But losing a mentor, who believed in the Lord and helped to shape and mold me into the young woman I am today, really hit me. I repeatedly ask myself questions like; "Why did this happen?" "Where would they be right now if they weren't gone?" "What would they be doing?" All of these questions will remain unanswered, and that's where having courage and living your life for them makes the days seem to go by just like they did when the angel was here.

There is never a situation where everyone close to someone who passes away can come to grips with it easily. Often, this provokes a deep internal reflection by their closest friends and family to help search for explanations and reasons why something so unexpected and heartbreaking happened. Once many of us have finished searching for our personal explanations, we have to move on and find a way to move into the future, utilizing this life changing moment to move forward or to file it away and try to resume your normal life as if nothing happened. The way one person chooses to move on doesn't reflect on how they felt about their loved one but rather how they feel most comfortable moving forward.

Those who tend to bury thoughts and into somewhere within themselves or into something else are sometimes viewed as not being emotional about the situation at hand, but rather it's quite the opposite. Those who wear their emotions on their sleeves are obviously seen by others and consoled by loved ones, but those that don't express it publicly aren't always exposed to the same treatment. These reserved people care just as much about the ones they have lost as the people who express it openly, if not more.

The grieving process is never an easy thing to experience, no matter how close you were to the person. We all are created differently, with our own unique characteristics, and being emotional and expressing yourself are important through this process. Especially since the world doesn't stop when this traumatic incident occurs, it's hard to really grasp onto life itself while trying to maintain all of the obstacles that are thrown at you at the same time. We need to take time for ourselves to play "catch up" and to really allow ourselves to heal.

So to all of our guardian angels watching over us, we all miss you an obnoxious amount that you will never understand, but we all don't show it in the same ways.

We love you,

xoxo