When I was 3 years old, I took home a striped kitten and named her Tigger. I had no idea at the time she would be around for the next 18 years of my life. All I knew is that the wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things.
When I was little, Tigger was made of springs. She jumped on every table and counter top she could find. She’d even climb the Christmas tree and stole all the bows off the presents – the cutest Grinch who ever stole Christmas. She kept me on my childhood toes, and taught me joy. There was nothing sweeter than collapsing with her on the couch after a long day of terrorizing the household
While I crept awkwardly into adolescence, Tigger bloomed into a young adult cat with confidence and swagger. As crazy as it sounds, she was my rock during the days when I felt the most alone and lost. Middle school was a place filled with kids eager to take out their own frustrations by pointing out all of my flaws. Tigger didn’t care if I had acne or a weird nose. She’d rub her face against my leg and purr to see me after school as if I were the most beautiful person alive.
By the time I made it to high school, Tigger became a full grown adult. She knew how to deal with my emotional swings and became well accustomed to listening to me play viola (even when I sounded like a moose whale). When my dad and my mom and my brother and I got in a family feud, she was always the reason to break the tension. Look at Tigger showing off her belly on the floor. Someone should giver her catnip. She probably wants treats. With every bad test, break up, drama or rejection, she was my fluffy shoulder to cry into. Lord knows she was never perfect. She’d bite my ankle just for the fun of it and resist being picked up, but that was part of the blessing. She showed me that love requires patience and forgiveness.
As I made it into my last year of the k-12 grind, Tigger lost her jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy self. It turned out she had diabetes from eating too much dry food. Immediately, I made it my mission to get her off of insulin injections. The vet was mad at me at first, for slowly weaning her dose. Later, however, he apologized and told me that if I hadn’t, the amount of insulin he prescribed would have killed her. The whole journey of giving her the shots, monitoring her progress and ultimately helping her beat the odds helped me realize aspects of myself I’d neglected. I am capable. I am diligent I can fight for the well being of others. With this, I finalized my decision to go to pharmacy school.
When I left for college, Tigger was off of the insulin, but still showing signs of wear. She didn’t fare well in my absences, and when I returned home, she struggled to be the Tigger she’d always been. She tried to jump up on my bed to be with me and fell backwards. From then on, she let me pick her up to put her with me. The flights of stairs she used to dash up became her biggest obstacles. My family and I began to hand feed her because she didn’t like to bend down for the food. Needless to say, she taught me that love is unconditional. I continued to feature her on my phone wallpaper and brag about her to everyone and anyone who would give me half a second of their time. I put her on snapchat, featured her in my profile pictures and made her a part of my whole identity.
Now, in my third year of pharmacy school, I am the most confident I’ve ever been. I have great friends, an amazing internship and my own apartment. The only thing missing is Tigger. Her last lesson to me was the most painful. Loss is hard and letting go is harder. She was my security blanket and a member of our family. Going home won’t be the same without her there to greet me, or to proudly yowl at night with her stuffed bunny in her teeth. Through all of the tears, it can be hard to imagine ever offering so much love to an animal. They simply don’t grow up on the same timeline as us, and it can only lead to tragedy. Still, I’d gladly do it all again if given the opportunity. She taught me from the beginning that I am the only one. I wouldn’t be the animal-loving, confident pharmacy student I am today without her.
For Tigger and all the wonderful cats who’ve left us. Your are in our hearts always, even as you chase birds through fields of gold.
