For as long as I can remember, my Catholic faith has been a very prominent part of my life. Growing up, my family attended church religiously (pun intended), every Sunday or Saturday and practically every day of Holy Obligation. Every night before bed my parents would have us all say our prayers together which included me mindlessly reciting prayers that I had simply memorized and I did not really comprehend what I was saying. I attended a PSR program that I thought of as more of an obligation than a chance to truly begin to understand Catholicism, and eventually that ended with me being confirmed as a Catholic. I consider myself slightly more mature now than I was when I really did not care about my faith, and I realize that I should not have been scared to share my beliefs at a young age. The reason that I was not devoting myself in my faith as I should have been was because I felt like I was being judged. I still have no idea why or how this idea was planted in my head, but I sometimes still struggle with it today.
In fact, I did not even turn to God in true prayer until I was 12 years old. Being twelve is typically a rough time for kids, when you are almost a teenager and you think that giving your parents attitude and wearing clothes that only have the words “Hollister” or “Abercrombie” will somehow help you become popular (which most likely isn’t all it is cracked up to be, but I wouldn’t know). Because of these unnecessary pressures, I had so much anxiety that I really did not know what to do. That is one thing that really is hard about being a constant worrier, sometimes there is nothing for you to worry about, which makes you worry even more. This was one of those times. I worried about everything. Therefore, I ended up turning to prayer on my own, which I now realize was my plea for help. This was the first time where I told myself that I needed to pray about these feelings that I could not explain, and I am so glad that I did.
I then continued to pursue a lifestyle change in which prayer was involved, but I have come to realize that I was focusing on the wrong things. I was praying for everything to go right for me. I was praying that I would have all these amazing opportunities (like earn enough money, get a good-looking husband, etc.), especially when I was older. I was praying only for the betterment of myself. These things are all fine to pray for, but it was narcissism overload. Part of being a Christian is caring for others as Jesus did. It took a while for me to realize this, and by a while I mean until I was a junior in high school.
In 2012, a girl in my high school passed away. I did not personally know her, but my heart ached for her, her family and my fellow students who I watched cry as we held a small service for her outside of our high school. When I returned home from the service, I truly prayed. Not for me, but for others. This memory is very vivid in my mind and I still think about how this girl is so missed, and she is the reason I found one of the main values of Catholicism. And I did not even know her. I find it frustrating now that it took death to actually get me to see God.
Once I started focusing on praying for other people, I grew easily into my faith. I began to really understand what it means to be Christian. Fast forward to 2013. I began my college search and visited Walsh University. I liked the fact that Walsh was Catholic, but what really sold me was that when I visited, I just had a comforting feeling that this place would be my home for the next four years. Little did I know that I would mature in my Catholic faith so much. From the first time that I attended mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Chapel it was confirmed that I had made the right decision. It is so refreshing to be able to share my Christian values with so many of my fellow students and their companionship has helped me to become a better version of myself.
As a timid freshman, I turned to prayer when I thought that I would have to come home every weekend because of my homesickness. I turned to prayer when I saw my new friends struggling with the adjustment, and when I saw my high school friends struggling with adjustment. I cannot express how much I truly believe that without the power of prayer and God’s grace, I would not be where I am today. Growing in my faith has been the biggest blessing God could have ever graced me with, and I am so grateful. I am intrigued to see how my journey in faith will continue as my life continues to change, and I know that God will always be there to guide me.
