When David Bowie died in January of this year (I know, has it really been that long? I'm sorry that it has.), it seemed the entire world began to mourn. And a lot of that was on the internet. People showcased their grief at gatherings, posted to snapchat, and shared their favorite Bowie hits on Facebook. When did mourning turn into this?

Twenty, and probably even ten years ago, I don't remember public grief for celebrities. I think I can remember a TIME or People magazine cover dedicated to the dead, but not much more.

I know that that has a lot to do with the fact that social media wasn't widely used, but what is about the platform Facebook provides us with that makes us want to treat the death of a public figure like the death of a close friend? Even this question makes me uncomfortable, because I know it's not a great comparison. My grandmother passed away just months after Bowie, and there was no social media response. I shared her obituary, which I'd written, but that was about it. No one shared favorite memories the way that people shared Bowie's greatest hits.

The response to the death of a celebrity is overwhelmingly different than the response we have to the passing of those we knew personally.

But, this isn't even the point I want to make. The question I really want to ask, is where does that grief go?

Last week, I got into my car to drive to school, and when I turned on the radio, David Bowie's "Heroes" was playing. I sat quietly for a moment, listening to the familiar song, which happens to be my favorite. And then the tears came.

I don't remember the first time I heard "Heroes." What I do remember are several times in my life where the song was in the background. Watching "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" for the first time. At a Shakespeare play with a boy that I liked. On the radio during a long drive. My sister is present for all these memories, singing along with me. "Heroes" is sort of our song.

I don't own a copy of it, digital or physical. I rarely stream it. I like to leave it to chance, to run into it like an old friend whose number I never bothered to write down, but whom I can catch up with like no time has passed, just the same.

When that happened to me this week, I was reminded that Bowie was gone. Obviously, I never knew him personally. I never spoke to him, or even existed in the space as him. And yet, I was reminded of the loss.

I have to think I'm not the only person with a story like that. I believe it happens a lot. But after a few days of social media mourning, we don't hear those stories any more. I would even say we don't hear them during that mourning period. No one shares the personal. They just shout into the void. And then it's over.

This will probably also be a shout into the void, but what I'm saying is that maybe it's time to reconsider the way we use social media to grieve. When you find out that that actress from that movie you really liked has died, maybe you should just go watch that movie with a friend instead of posting a five paragraph "in memory" on Facebook. I'm not saying that social grief is always a bad thing - I'm just saying there are other outlets that might even make you feel better.