Let's set the stage: in 2000, my mother, a Catholic woman, recently married her second husband, a Jewish man. In the next two and three years, they would have two more children and then have to decide under what religion they were going to raise them as. This turned out to not be the simplest question to ask. The short response is this:
I was raised mostly Catholic, with parts of Judaism.
My brothers and I attended bible classes. I received communion and confirmation. My middle brother received communion but not confirmation. My youngest brother did neither. (Are you seeing the first born, middle child, last born pattern here?) We celebrated Christmas, could sometimes be seen at our Grandma's for Hanukkah, and always looked forward to Passover.
With Easter and Passover both having just passed, I've been thinking a lot about my childhood growing up interfaith and how it shaped me. What I can say is this: there's a lot that's very beautiful about growing up interfaith. You have so many stories to tell, and different versions of some of the same stories. No one version is better than the other, they're just different. And I think that teaches empathy, understanding, and seeing many different sides to arguments.
I've always loved the beauty of the different holidays I celebrate. I loved sitting at my Passover seder and reading from the book as we went through the traditions of the holiday. There was always something about Passover that made me feel much more complete than I ever did the rest of the year. Maybe it was sitting with my family as we went through the Hebrew and enjoyed some quality time together. Maybe it was the sense of resilience I got from the stories. Maybe it was a lot of things. And though my Judaism was a small piece of the entire religion, I felt home there.
But I also felt home in the Catholicism I was raised under. I felt a lot of comfort in reading verses from my bible, in praying to my God every night and knowing he made me. There was something that felt so wonderful about knowing that Jesus would love me no matter what I did or sins I committed.
And despite the fact that I grew up with both religions: I felt like an imposter in each of them. I still do. And I know that this is a common sentiment between many other interfaith kids I've spoken to. There's a lot of pressure in interfaith families for the kids to just pick one of their religions. And while some of them do feel more connected to one religion than the other, there shouldn't be a pressure to do so. Many interfaith people I've spoken to feel like they can't walk into church or temple without feeling like people are looking at them strangely like they don't belong there. I know I've felt that way in the past, and I always resented that. Because both religions were a part of my upbringing, and I hated feeling pressured to pick one.
Religion is a beautiful thing that can help people feel much more whole and complete in their lives. It should not be a source of anxiety in young people.
