Deciding to join my fraternity was a big step for me, and I wasn't expecting all of the things that would come along with it.
1. Automatic friends
This was probably the hardest adjustment for me. I never really had a large group of friends in high school and my younger years, so being thrown into a national Greek organization was very much a dive into the metaphorical deep end. When I went through my process, my chapter was still very new, but there were enough brothers to where I was overwhelmed. There were so many names and faces to remember, but the brothers didn't care if I didn't know their names. They were just glad I was there, and I'll always remember their open arms.
2. A full schedule
Greek life takes up a lot of time, particularly during your process. If you're taking a full schedule of classes, your process will most likely take up the other hours of the day. It differs from organization to organization, but in my experience, my process took up a lot of time. It mainly took up time in the form of preparing for our exam and learning about our fraternity's values. If I had to choose to lose that free time again, I would do it in a heartbeat. All the time you lose gets put into being a better brother.
3. Open arms and open minds
I was terrified to join my fraternity. As a transgender man wanting to join an all-male frat, I was fully prepared to have to fight tooth and nail to find my way in. I was so, so pleasantly surprised and honored that my brothers did the fighting for me. They made it clear to me that if anyone had a problem with me joining, they needed to go through them before they got to me. Having these men say that they saw me as a man and were willing to defend me against those who didn't see it was something I didn't expect but entirely needed.
4. Being held accountable
When you join a fraternity, you become accountable for what you say and do. Before joining a fraternity, you're only accountable for yourself. When you join a fraternity, you are representing your entire organization. It doesn't matter if you're wearing letters if you're in a frat house, or if you're with other brothers. Even if you're by yourself, not wearing letters, 100 miles from the nearest chapter of your fraternity, or out of the country. You are always representing your fraternity. Always. Every word you say and everything you do is tied back to your fraternity.
5. A lifelong association
Even if you live until you're 100, you're still going to be representing that fraternity that you joined in college. Brotherhood, if done correctly, lasts long after your college career ends. Brothers are for life, and they'll be by your side (if not physically, then in spirit) always.
6. A special relationship with your big
I was lucky enough to already know my big. We started college at the same time, and we were friends from the beginning. Becoming big and little only strengthened our relationship. Regardless of whether or not you know your big, the relationship the two of you share is special and unique. No two big/little relationships are the same. My big has two littles, and his relationship with each of us is so different but equally wonderful.
7. Already strong relationships getting stronger
This kind of goes back to what I was saying about my big. I had a handful of friends and acquaintances in my fraternity before I joined, but we got so much closer after I joined. Our friendships were strengthened by brotherhood, and now some of my closest friends are brothers.
8. A giant dysfunctional family
Brotherhood is very much like having a real family. When a bunch of people get together who feel very passionately about the fraternity and its values, you're going to butt heads at some point or another. At the end of the day, you all love each other and are friends, but families fight regardless of whether they're biological or in a brotherhood.
9. Anti-hazing policies
When I was younger, I was very much anti-Greek life. I thought it was all full of hazing and should just be done away with. Then, I joined Greek life. There are so many measures put in place to prevent even the tiniest bit of hazing happening. I never for a second thought that the brothers of my fraternity were going to haze me, but the anti-hazing policies that the university has in place were a pleasant surprise and eased my mind even more.
10. Pride
I never really had pride in an organization before I joined Greek life. I wasn't into sports or anything like that, so I didn't expect to have much fraternity pride when I joined. The pride kind of snuck up on me overnight. Now, I wear letters whenever I can, I try to recruit people, and I spread my love for my fraternity. I was a little hesitant to join when I first started my process, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
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