As a guy, I think about who "the one" is, and I'll admit that I've spent too much time trying to find her. I have bounced around and it isn't a good look. It makes me look like a player even if I don't 'leave' one girl for another (e.g. a girl shuts me down and I then move on). I need to stop being so desperate.
Part of the reason I've spent so much time looking for her is that I am willing to commit at a stage where most people aren't ready to. But that's something I've got to keep learning / understanding.
Almost every girl likes a man who has any (or all) of the following traits — confident, tall, well-built, ambitious, respectful, and has good morals, among others. If I have these qualities, does it make me a great boyfriend? No, it doesn't.
I'm currently single. I can't be a great boyfriend if I don't have a girlfriend to treat well, take on dates, appreciate, show love to, etc.
I don't know what it takes to keep a relationship going or to keep her around.It's one thing to fall in love, but it's another thing to keep falling in love or stay in love with her. I'm trying to understand what it takes.
I'm trying to be happy with my life and where God has planned for it to lead me.
I could ask around to so many people to understand or know why a girl ghosted me, rejected me, etc. but that advice isn't always worth following. I have to trust in God's plan, even though it's hard. It's hard to accept why certain things are the way they are, even though I struggle having to accept the idea of 'this is the way it is'.
I haven't found the right person. I mentioned in the open where most people aren't ready to commit at this stage (where they're in college), but I'll have to find someone who is. Easier said than done, but it's possible.
I have to be willing to recover/replenish the energy to put myself out there again before I go for it. I'll be left feeling empty if I keep giving parts of myself to others without caring for myself a bit to understand that I need to let God help make me whole.
Most importantly, I have to have healthy and Godly relationships if I want to be with the girl whom I spend a future with.
Even though I possess most of the qualities a girl wants in her boyfriend, I am not yet a great boyfriend if I haven't done any of the above things that I need to do. Even though I'm self-confident, I must know that if I don't develop healthy relationships, how can I let love in? Without that, I'm not able to keep people around, especially a girl whom I genuinely love. If I don't have healthy relationships, I will not be happy with myself or with God, and I'll never be a great boyfriend if I keep giving parts of myself away, leaving me empty.
The potential is there to be a great boyfriend, but I'm not yet a great boyfriend.