The initial feeling of betrayal is something that you don't understand unless you have felt it yourself. When I had found out I was being cheated on, that was the first time I felt betrayal. I would never wish that feeling on anyone. But, for the ones who have felt it, I am here to tell you that some good does come out of it.
Everything happens for a reason.
In high school, I dated a guy for almost two years. We had been friends for about 10 years prior to us dating, and when we broke up I felt lost. We had a rocky relationship for a while and it finally ended when I had discovered he cheated on me. A lot of thoughts flooded through my head when I had found out. How could he do that to me? What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I good enough? Etc. I believed it was my fault, which I was so wrong to think at the time.
I am not here to bash on my ex because honestly, what's the point? I genuinely believe all people are good, even if they make mistakes. Yes, he hurt me and I have every right to be angry at him for a while. Though, there comes a point when I must forgive him and let go of that anger. I didn't call him up and tell him I forgave him because that would open a door that should stay closed. But one day, I honestly just told myself I forgive him and it felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
The fact of the matter is, he came into my life for a reason. I am a strong believer in the idea that each person comes in and out of your life to help you grow as a human being. Regardless of whether they are your significant other or just a random person you bump into on the street. Each person you meet will teach you a lesson about life, you just have to look for it.
I remember talking to my older sister after the breakup and her telling me something that has stuck with me ever since. She told me, "After each breakup, you will meet someone who holds all the qualities you loved in your last relationship and the ones you have always wanted as well." And wow, did that open my eyes.
Every girl has considered getting back together with their ex at one point or another, and if they say they haven't they're probably just lying. It is hard letting go. After getting cheated on, I felt so angry and I could've never imagined getting back together with someone who hurt me so much. After that anger passed, I started to miss him. I wanted to forgive him for what he had done and I felt as if I was over it. I had been considering sending him that infamous "I miss you" text. After that discussion with my sister, it stopped me. I realized that I need to give myself time to figure out who I was on my own.
Since that breakup, I have crossed paths with others who have great qualities of their own. But not all things are meant to be. I am thankful for each person I have met because they taught me different lessons I had no idea I needed to learn.
Its been about two years since my first breakup and a path of trial and error, but here's what I've learned.
I grew to love the person I have become today. I respect myself enough to not settle for someone who wants to give me less than I deserve. I learned that my significant other should support me and help me grow into an even better person rather than bring me down.
I should never have to convince someone to be with me. If someone isn't ready for a relationship, they won't be ready six months from now. I don't need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. I am happy with who I am, and I know I will meet someone who thinks the world of me. It just takes time.
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