My alma mater recently celebrated Homecoming, and for the first time, I experienced it from the alumni side. Instead of cheering and float-decorating with my sorority, I had the honor of meeting up with fellow graduates, and catching up with my favorite professors and friends.
The best part? Seeing the light in my best friend's eyes as she told me about her new, grown-up life in a new city.
The worst part? A majority of the young alumni I met with were unhappy.
Each greeting went something like a spontaneous trip to the dentist, and I was the one pulling teeth. As I asked my friends, "So, what have you been up to since May?" they would respond first with a life update. What followed always consisted of a big fat "But."
"I'm working with ___, at ___. It's pretty cool, but I'm still waiting for other options."
"I'm holding a part-time job in food service, but you know, it's not about the money to me anyway..."
"I'm traveling, but I promise I still plan on grad school!"
My question, dear graduates, is this: Why make excuses? What about your current situation makes you feel inadequate or unhappy?
Is it because somewhere along the way, society has pressured you into thinking success is at least a $60k salary in a corporate office? Did you honestly believe that prestige can be tethered to your state of residence? And greatest of all, did you ever expect post-grad life to be glamorous?
My aforementioned best friend really struggles. She starts each day at 4 a.m. and ends around 11 p.m. She is constantly surrounded by life-and-death scenarios (#nurse problems) and works hard to juggle new friendships, fitness and career in one brand new life. What makes her happy is not the city lights nor the big girl salary; she is motivated and fulfilled by her progress. She had the guts to pursue her dreams and despite the grueling hours of effort to reach her goals, she is thriving.
Isn't that what we all want to be? Jim Carrey once said, “I hope everybody could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know that it's not the answer.”
Are you truly after the money? The jet-setter agenda and the New York studio? Are you after the compliment you feel you must earn from your university mentors? Do you fear you've let them-- or worse, yourself-- down by claiming your unpaid internship, or entry-level position?
Can we all take a moment to laugh in unison at the ridiculous standards we've set, or allowed to be set before us? You might be collecting grease on shoes, daily. Are you serving with a passionate heart for others? You might be "stuck in your hometown" for now. The city/state/country you live in has no effect on your success whatsoever. And to the slight few who are making an incredible starting salary, or have moved far, far away and believed themselves to be above the others, I'm here to tell you that you, too, are wrong.
Dear graduates, if you are breathing, you are succeeding. As one college professor said, "You're all here because you've got a bit of 'save-the-world' in you. I want you to know it's okay if you only save one person. It is okay if that person is you."
Dear graduates, if you are working to better yourself, you are succeeding. Complacency is key to failure, but desire, hard work, and commitment are together unconquerable.
Dear graduates, if you are happy, accepting and ready for more, you are the most successful of all.
Congratulations.
