Today while procrastinating my work I had the sudden realization that I graduate from Clarkson University in 249 days. In 249 days I need to get my sh*t together, and that is horrifying. Soon the days of undergrad will be gone and I’ll have to fully commit to a life of adulting. Out of all of the scary things that adulting encompasses, the following are the most horrifying to me:
My casual drinking habits will be rebranded as alcoholism. In college, it’s completely normal to utilize the break in between your Tuesday morning classes to go to Ebens and see how many big beers you can drink before you have to head back to campus.
I have to get a new wardrobe. Gone are the days of wearing the same leggings a questionable time in a row to class. When I hit the real world after graduation, I have to dress in (God forbid) business casual *shutter.* I’ll basically have to enter the world of slacks and khakis and I’m just really not ready for that.
Normal bed time hours. In college, bedtimes aren’t real. You go to bed when the homework/party is over and you wake up for your next class. None of that “in bed by 10, up at 6” crap. In the real world, you have actual consistent work hours that you can’t just sleep through.
Your loans are real now. When you sign up for loans you realize only a fraction of how shitty the situation is. I don’t know about you but when that first bill comes in the mail it’s going to be a sad, sad day.
You have to feed yourself. No more bumming meal plan off of your underclassman friends or depending on a liquid diet. When you become an adult it’s highly recommended to actually cook and I really don’t know how to do that. Honestly, I really don’t even know how I’ve made it this far without starving.
No summer vacation. Granted, we all probably worked on our summers off from school but that situation is nowhere near as shitty as actually having a full-time position (where you get like 15 days of vacation).
You have to attend boring adult social events. I’m sure we can all agree that we typically enjoy attending social gatherings with the right people in college. Unfortunately, when you hit the real world as an adult you have to go to things like “company barbecues” or “mixers.” WTF are those? Take me back to Maxfields.
BILLS. LOL. Who knew that an apartment/car/daily living expenses would cost so much? At the moment I’m coasting off of the $20 bill I have in my backpack, and I’m ok with that.
Taxes. I say taxes like I actually understand what they are and my obligation to them. Jokes on everyone, I have no idea, and most likely many of you don’t either.
