The girl who moved in September 4th is a far different girl than the one writing this now, who moved out May 10th.
That girl came in a Wildlife and Conservation Biology Major, ready to retake Chemistry and take a bunch of classes she dreaded. She was nice and tan from baking in the Cape Cod sun a few days before and was ready for sorority recruitment. Sophomore year was going to be HER year. In some ways, it was, while in others it tore her down bit by bit.
Recruitment led her to the sorority of her dreams where she met some very amazing people she gets to call sisters and friends. Her social life was taking a turn for the better, and so was her life romantically. The boy from last March was still around and they got closer than she thought. Relationships all around were in a great place that first semester, but not all good times will last.
She lost her grandfather at the end of November. If classes were not going bad enough, this was the most crushing thing to happen to her. The way it happened she would never wish on anyone no matter how much she dislikes them, not in a million years. Good people don't deserve to go out the way he did and so early. He's not going to physically be there for her graduation from college, her wedding, or anything else that happens to her.
Spiritually, he is there and she knows this. The 19 years she got with him are irreplaceable and she'll never forget them. Her other grandfather had dementia. While he is here physically, mentally he is not and cannot remember who she is nor many other family members. He used to make her, her sister, and cousin pancakes at his house when they had sleepovers, and his devotion to God, much like her other grandfather, is one thing she will always remember. To watch him hardly be able to walk or talk properly is a slow death she'd never wish on anyone either. She tries to visit as often as she can.
Winter break passed and she decided to switch majors, and once she moved back to school, she did, and it was an instant relief. She was happy in a way her old major never made her. English is her forte, and everyone seemed to know that but her. Somehow she is not behind and will graduate on time with many of her friends. To wake up and want to go to class every day was something she was not used to. She did keep an old class from her old major, bad idea.
While she grounded herself for her future, the boy from March was as well, but in this, they began to lose the connection she wanted so hard to keep. He was putting everything but her first, and she realized the hurt it was causing her was changing her into a monster. The person she was becoming disgusted her, so she dropped him. While the pain still resides in her and she thinks of him every day, it's much better than it was. There's someone who wants to put her first, and while she wishes it was him, it isn't. Will they ever be brought in the same circles again in the future? Only time can tell, but she won't have her hopes up in the slightest.
The growth she has experienced was monumental. She lost friends she didn't expect to lose, but in doing so, she's standing up for herself and coming to her own. She's gotten monumentally closer to people she hardly spoke to during first semester in this second semester, and she's thankful to have them. She may not have a massive group of friends, but the ones she does have are the ones she will keep for life. She's not friends with everyone in her sorority and she's ok with that. The people she does know are ones she doesn't know how she'd live her life without and she's happy she met them all as well.
The girl who moved out May 10th has done a complete 180 with her grades. She's doing what she loves and it shows, and she can finally make her parents proud. She doesn't know what she wants to do, but she's figuring it out. She knows who she is. She's no longer scared to get rid of toxic relationships in her life, no matter how hard it may hurt to lose them. She knows she deserves the world, and the world has so much to offer her now that new doors are being opened. The person she lost is still with her and always will be, and she will see him again one day, walking without a cane and with a smile on his face.
She's pale and ready for summer break. She made it. Thank you Sophomore Year. You turned her into someone she's proud to have become.
