What Happened That Only "A Good Man" Can Be Ruined?

What Happened To Only 'A Good Man' Can Be Ruined?

The Kavanaugh debacle fails to realize that, if the allegations are true, he ruined a good woman's life — not the other way around.

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In September 2018, news broke that Dr. Christine Blasey Ford accused Judge Brett Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her back in 1982. President Donald Trump has recently nominated the judge to the Supreme Court.

One of the first criticisms Dr. Ford received was that she was ruining a good man's life by bringing up things that may have happened over 20 years ago.

Every day countless other women are re-traumatized by the victim blaming and gaslighting of Dr. Ford. She's painted as the villain who wants attention and a large payday. Yet I fail to see what her testimony would do to get her these things.

Dr. Christine Ford teaches research design and education clinical psychology at Palo Alto University. Ford has written and co-written several books and academic articles on psychological topics including depression, child abuse, human sexuality, and the psychological effects of 9/11.

Dr. Ford has earned her undergraduate and Ph.D. in Psychology, and two Masters degrees in Psychology.

With all that Dr. Ford has accomplished in the world, wouldn't one call her a good woman? Now that she chose to disclose what happened to her, does that negate all she's done in this world? Are there no good women in the public's eyes, or are women no longer good when they reveal a man may have violated their autonomy?

If the allegations are true, this man ruined a good woman's life by taking away her right to refuse his advances. She has to live with the trauma he may have caused her for the rest of her life, while he could potentially be given one of the highest jobs in the country and sit pretty for the rest of his life. On top of all this, she's looked at as a liar because how can a man lie? How can a judge lie? How can a teenage sex game be wrong?

No matter how hard a woman works, or how successful she becomes, there's nothing that will make her good in the public eye. While a man can do the old rape and pillage, whine and gaslight, only to become even more successful than women and his character not suffer a smudge.

Another major criticism of women coming forward with past traumas is people say it's a false accusation. This also ties into the good man argument; that women make up assaults to keep good men from getting ahead in the world. Of course, we all know a man could commit murder and still get ahead in this world, so how would a rape accusation hurt him?

What percentage of false accusations flooding statistics for so many people to believe that every rape allegation is automatically false? What's REALLY something is that when a woman is accused of a crime, she's automatically guilty. Even if it's sexual assault against a man; he'll be laughed at, and claims against his manhood will be made, but he'll be believed and the woman socially blacklisted.

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford didn't deserve what happened to her. She doesn't deserve the social backlash she's receiving now. She tried to remain anonymous, she passed the polygraphs, and she testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Plus more women are now coming forward. She has dreams and aspirations and much more to do in this world without society stomping her name into the ground.

So can people stop saying that she's ruining a good man by revealing what he may have done to her when its the reverse? He might have ruined a good woman by allowing her to be socially trashed due to his alleged actions.

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An Open Letter To Democrats From A Millennial Republican

Why being a Republican doesn't mean I'm inhuman.
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Dear Democrats,

I have a few things to say to you — all of you.

You probably don't know me. But you think you do. Because I am a Republican.

Gasp. Shock. Horror. The usual. I know it all. I hear it every time I come out of the conservative closet here at my liberal arts university.

SEE ALSO: What I Mean When I Say I'm A Young Republican

“You're a Republican?" people ask, saying the word in the same tone that Draco Malfoy says “Mudblood."

I know that not all Democrats feel about Republicans this way. Honestly, I can't even say for certain that most of them do. But in my experience, saying you're a Republican on a liberal college campus has the same effect as telling someone you're a child molester.

You see, in this day and age, with leaders of the Republican Party standing up and spouting unfortunately ridiculous phrases like “build a wall," and standing next to Kim Davis in Kentucky after her release, we Republicans are given an extreme stereotype. If you're a Republican, you're a bigot. You don't believe in marriage equality. You don't believe in racial equality. You don't believe in a woman's right to choose. You're extremely religious and want to impose it on everyone else.

Unfortunately, stereotypes are rooted in truth. There are some people out there who really do think these things and feel this way. And it makes me mad. The far right is so far right that they make the rest of us look bad. They make sure we aren't heard. Plenty of us are fed up with their theatrics and extremism.

For those of us brave enough to wear the title “Republican" in this day and age, as millennials, it's different. Many of us don't agree with these brash ideas. I'd even go as far as to say that most of us don't feel this way.

For me personally, being a Republican doesn't even mean that I automatically vote red.

When people ask me to describe my political views, I usually put it pretty simply. “Conservative, but with liberal social views."

“Oh," they say, “so you're a libertarian."

“Sure," I say. But that's the thing. I'm not really a libertarian.

Here's what I believe:

I believe in marriage equality. I believe in feminism. I believe in racial equality. I don't want to defund Planned Parenthood. I believe in birth control. I believe in a woman's right to choose. I believe in welfare. I believe more funds should be allocated to the public school system.

Then what's the problem? Obviously, I'm a Democrat then, right?

Wrong. Because I have other beliefs too.

Yes, I believe in the right to choose — but I'd always hope that unless a pregnancy would result in the bodily harm of the woman, that she would choose life. I believe in welfare, but I also believe that our current system is broken — there are people who don't need it receiving it, and others who need it that cannot access it.

I believe in capitalism. I believe in the right to keep and bear arms, because I believe we have a people crisis on our hands, not a gun crisis. Contrary to popular opinion, I do believe in science. I don't believe in charter schools. I believe in privatizing as many things as possible. I don't believe in Obamacare.

Obviously, there are other topics on the table. But, generally speaking, these are the types of things we millennial Republicans get flack for. And while it is OK to disagree on political beliefs, and even healthy, it is NOT OK to make snap judgments about me as a person. Identifying as a Republican does not mean I am the same as Donald Trump.

Just because I am a Republican, does not mean you know everything about me. That does not give you the right to make assumptions about who I am as a person. It is not OK for you to group me with my stereotype or condemn me for what I feel and believe. And for a party that prides itself on being so open-minded, it shocks me that many of you would be so judgmental.

So I ask you to please, please, please reexamine how you view Republicans. Chances are, you're missing some extremely important details. If you only hang out with people who belong to your own party, chances are you're missing out on great people. Because, despite what everyone believes, we are not our stereotype.

Sincerely,

A millennial Republican

Cover Image Credit: NEWSWORK.ORG

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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