I Worked My Ass Off For A Good GPA And I Feel...Nothing
Start writing a post
Student Life

I Worked My Ass Off For A Good GPA And I Feel...Nothing

There's a reason why they say "C's get degrees."

40
I Worked My Ass Off For A Good GPA And I Feel...Nothing

As the youngest of all my siblings, I've always felt pressured to outperform them. That, however, is no easy task. All of them graduated from high school summa cum laude, went on to go to one of the top universities in the country, and then went to med school to become doctors.

All three of them.

Compared to them, I'm a bum. I wasn't in the top 10% of my high school class, I didn't get into the University of Michigan like them, and to top it all off, I decided to major in finance as one last middle finger to my family's legacy.

My mother damn near cried when I told her I wasn't going to be a doctor.

After my first semester in college was over, my parents asked me how I did. Although my 3.56 GPA was something I was satisfied with, my parents felt differently. When I told my mom about it, she looked at me like I was a dud — like I should crawl back into her uterus because I wasn't done being a fetus yet.

Once the next semester rolled around, I decided that I was done being a disappointment. I was going to get a 4.0, get an internship, make shitloads of money, and then flex it so that I could feel like I was worth the time and expense that my family poured into me. I devised a game plan for school, which entailed near constant studying and limiting my alcohol intake to Fridays and Saturdays only.

I was on my grind the whole semester, the entire time picturing the new Porsche 911 I would buy some day in order to impress my siblings and parents. After COVID hit, I would wake up at 8:00 a.m. and then work on school until 10:00 p.m. This method worked for quite a while, too — in the week before final exams, I had an A in every class.

Knowing that I had put my entire self-worth into this semester's grades, I put in eight hours of studying a day for two weeks — if I didn't get an A on every exam, all that work would have been for nothing. I cut out all sort of social interactions — even my friend group's ritual of playing Warzone every night.

It didn't work though, and I didn't get an A on every exam — I ended with a 3.75. And for all intents and purposes, I'm proud of it. My parents were happy with it. Even my siblings were impressed.

But after all that, I can't help but feel empty — not because I didn't get a 4.0, but mostly because I didn't get anything out of it. Sure, it's a cool flex I guess, but I don't think it was worth staying in every Thursday or missing out on Warzone with the boys every night. I especially don't think it was worth the permanent damage I've inevitably done to my heart via Red Bull and coffee.

I can't help but wish that I was OK with being a disappointment. Even after "proving" to my family that I'm "smart", I still feel unaccomplished. Sometimes I think like my mom that I really do need to crawl back into her uterus and develop more fully. Perhaps the worst part about this whole ordeal is that it shows me that no matter what, disappointment is going to hit me no matter what I do.

People always say that grades aren't as important as they seem, and I always just assumed they were dumb and simply resigned themselves to mediocrity. But now, after working so hard, I see that the only emotion I ever feel is mediocrity. If that's the case, then why the hell did I ever study so much?

While it's true that I know accounting and economics like the back of my hand now, I've never been able to tell stories about them to my friends, and that's probably my biggest regret of college so far.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

What Your Car's Color Says About Your Personality

Your color choice speaks volumes. It doesn't just emit an image for the car, it also says something about your style and personality! It's a form of self-expression. Are you confident? Are you sophisticated? Are you easy-going? Are you outgoing? Are you practical? As you're reviewing car sites for your next car purchase, what color will you opt for? Find out what certain color choices says about you!

59552

When it comes to car shopping you likely have certain preferences, including what color it should be. Your color choice speaks volumes. It doesn't just emit an image for the car, it also says something about your style and personality! It's a form of self-expression. Are you confident? Are you sophisticated? Are you easy-going? Are you outgoing? Are you practical? As you're reviewing car sites for your next car purchase, what color will you opt for? Find out what certain color choices says about you!

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

30 Songs On My Back-To-School Playlist For Walks To And From Class

Headed back to in-person classes means you need a pretty banging playlist to power you through those walks to class.

61422
Photo by Zen Chung on Pexels

I don't know about you, but I start each day off with a one-mile walk to class. I have to have good tunes flowing through my ears during those 20 minutes, not to mention the walks between classes and the walks home. So, here is my 30 song playlist to get me through this almost unfamiliar concept we call walking to class.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Be Kind to Yourself: 8 Mental Health Tips to Try

One way you can improve your quality of life is to take care of your mental health. As a result, you'll feel less depressed and be able to enjoy spending time with friends and family more often. These mental health tips might be just what you need to forget about your problems.

37171

One way you can improve your quality of life is to take care of your mental health. As a result, you'll feel less depressed and be able to enjoy spending time with friends and family more often. These mental health tips might be just what you need to forget about your problems.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Should You Own An SUV If You Live In A Snowy state?

There are many reasons to own an SUV. If you live in a cold state or a rural area, you will see that owning an SUV is very important.

38111

The gas and oil prices are too high to run in a smaller vehicle. You are better off with an SUV for hauling cargo and driving larger loads around the town. In addition, owning an SUV is more comfortable and safe than driving a smaller vehicle.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Understanding Why Dog's Lick You

It is a natural instinct for dogs to lick

55514

Why do dogs lick?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments