At a young age, you aren’t supposed to be subjected to such pain. Death changes you, death changes everyone. I was 18 years old when I lost one of my best friends, Dionna. Senior year was quickly progressing with softball season just beginning, planning for prom, graduation, and beach trips. I remember my last conversation with Dionna just like it was yesterday. She was complaining about wanting to get that “perfect summer body” but knew her plans for that evening would more than likely be Olive Garden over the gym. Everyone that knew her knows that intoxicating laugh she had, with her ability to put a smile on anyone’s face. Truly only the good die young.
It’s been a little over a year since she has passed, so here are some things I have learned along the way.
1. Life is short.
Everyone says this, but don’t truly realize it. Many people live life constrained and afraid of taking risks because they feel they have forever to do those things. Time is limited. Dionna passed away at the young age of 16, in the spring of her junior year of high school. So many things she didn’t have the chance to experience. So get out there, stop living your life afraid of what others think because in the end you won’t be happy with your life if you don’t do what you enjoy.
2. You will change.
Not only will you change, but you will learn more about yourself. Most people don’t get this because they have never gone through it. Your outlook on life will change and maybe even the way you view others and yourself. Don’t ever let a loss change your
3. There will be bad days.
When losing someone so important to you, there will always be bad days. No matter how much time passes, it will still hurt. Everyone suggests that time heals wounds but that is not always true. Time won’t make it “better”, but it will make the pain less. What I’m saying is, it’s okay to mourn weeks, months, or even years into the future. Everyone mourns
4. You don’t need to validate your grief to anyone.
What you are feeling is unique and many people don’t understand that. Everyone experiences loss in a different way. They will say things to the extent of, “why are you grieving, you weren’t that close.” Little do they know the past you shared with that person and the impact they may have had on your life or the way you look at life.
5. You aren’t the only one.
This not so great experience will shape you into a more caring individual. During the initial
6. They will always be with you.
No matter what, you will carry this person in your heart. Ways you express this don’t need to be visible because you know in your heart that they are with you. There will be days where you know they are watching over you. Maybe you hop into your car for the drive home after a rough day and their song comes on. Maybe for a split second when you are visiting them the sun comes out for the first time all day. They will always find a way to show you they are still with you.
If you took the time to read this article, chances are you have lost a loved one. Take a second and step back and think of all the good (or bad) times you’ve shared with them. In some way, they have impacted your life. Whether it be their intoxicating laugh, infectious smile, them being there for you through all of your relationship problems or sharing countless nights eating Chinese food. They were placed into your life for a reason and that reason is to make you a better person. Appreciate the relationship you once had and don’t let it break you.
“We only part to meet again”
Forever in our hearts Di
