Going out of state for school has somewhat become a part of my identity which is why you might be rolling your eyes right now, thinking, "she's talking about this again?" The short answer is yes. The longer answer has everything to do with the journey I embarked on to get here and the possibility of others ruining that journey for some of my peers back home.
This past week I asked what article content people were looking for and to my surprise, there were unexpected requests from the kids in my hometown. They wanted to know what it is like to leave our little one-square-mile town and pack up your entire life to leave for college. So, I'm here today to share everything I've learned the past year about wanting to chase my dreams all the way to California. From other people's opinions to your own conflicting emotions, here's everything you need to know about going out of state for school.
1. Be realistic.
I am sure this is something you have heard a multitude of times but I am going to put a little spin on this piece of advice. Being realistic doesn't mean you can't allow yourself to chase what you want, it simply means you have to be honest about doing so. Be honest with people around you and most importantly yourself. When I was leaving, it was easy for me to put on the show that I couldn't wait to leave my high school and that I wasn't worried at all. As the decision grew closer, I realized the only way to solidify my goals was to be completely honest about what it was going to take to reach them and how difficult it was going to be. Recognize your dreams as realistically as you can, with all the hard work and stress that comes with them. That is the first step of this adventure.
2. Educate yourself.
One of the most gratifying moments I can recall is those where I could answer every question anyone who doubted me had. Knowledge was my power and it is yours as well. Do all of the research, know all of the details and leave no scenario unthought of. This way when naysayers come with all of their doubts and any chance to make you feel unprepared, you'll know exactly what to say. You'll be educated enough to assert your capability in making this decision. Don't let anyone make you feel like you can't do this; gather as much information about your school, tuition, travel, where you'll go on the holidays, all of it and prove that you are invested.
3. They aren't lying when they say it is expensive.
The cost was the absolute scariest thing on my list of worries when I was applying to colleges. Teachers, peers, maybe even your family members love to remind you about the debt. They aren't wrong in doing so but what's important is that you don't let others' regards towards money determine what you do in your life. If you need loans, ask yourself if you're willing to invest in your education and happiness. The debt? Imagine where you'll be in 4 years and whether or not debt will be something you can handle. Yes, it is expensive but it is ultimately your choice to decide if it is all worth it.
4. Recognize that it WILL be hard.
There are going to be days where you'll get homesick, if not for the town for the people in it. There are going to be days where you miss out on events you've attended your whole life like birthdays or maybe even holidays. And it will always hurt when your college roommate goes home for the weekend when that is not an option for you. Recognize these difficulties. All I can say about them is that you need to take a good look within yourself, at your character and determine if these are emotions you can digest.
5. It is entirely okay to be conflicted.
It is okay to be torn between leaving everyone you love and taking a step towards your own life. Any feelings of guilt are completely normal and should be acknowledged. This is no easy choice to make and the people around you won't hesitate to remind you but this is your life and one of the first decisions that define it. You can choose to be selfish, you can pick yourself and your dreams this time and never let anyone make you feel bad for it.
Personally, leaving for school was the first thing I did entirely for myself. On the days where I miss my friends and siblings, I reflect and think of how much sadder I'd be if I hadn't taken the leap.
I hope this article can assist anyone who is thinking of leaving home. No matter how small a town or graduating class don't allow that to confine you. No matter what people say, don't let their misunderstanding make the decision for you. The ups, the downs, the distance, are all part of the adventure and you can do it.
